Going Under
by RaeBeth13
Summary: As McGarrett moves to start building a life outside of 5-0 his world suddenly implodes. The events leave him isolating himself and in a tale spin which the team must fight together to stop. Danny worries about his partners frame of mind and feels helpless as Steve struggles in a way he's never seen before and heads towards a darkness he may never recover from.
1. Chapter 1

The warm breeze filtered through the open window, bustling the white drapes over the windows of Steve's room. The dawn sun had started to filter through, casting its gentle light over his exposed back and shoulders and softly illuminating a slither of his face as he slept. His arm gently wrapped over Catherine's slight frame as she lay next to him, studying his peaceful expression.

"Hey…" she whispered before she kissed him on the lips softly. Reluctant to disturb him but she had no other option. "Steve…" she whispered again, repeating the kiss.

His lips thinned into a boyish grin but his eyes remained closed.

"It's nine o'clock, you were supposed to be at work 30 minutes ago." She continued.

"I'm on vacation." He mumbled sleepily.

She smirked as she sat up, reaching out for one of his shirts and carefully wrapping it around her before buttoning it up. "You promised Danny you'd go to the weekly briefing with the Governor."

Steve exhaled a heavy sigh before opening his eyes. "I did, didn't I?" he said as he turned on his side.

"Besides, I have so much to do before we go away this afternoon." She said as she leant down and kissed his lips one more time. The kiss deepened as he rolled onto his back and pulled her onto him. "Steve…" she laughed as she broke away from him. "Enough already."

He watched her stand up, grab her hair tie from the night stand and pull her hair back into a pony tail. He pushed himself up to lean back against the bed head. "So… what we were talking about last night… you still feel the same way?"

"You think I would change my mind so soon about something like that?"

"I was hoping you wouldn't." he answered nervously.

She smiled softly. "And I was hoping you'd say that." She nodded as she leant down and kissed him on the lips one last time. "Everything I said last night, I meant. It's what I want."

He tried to quell the overwhelming delight he felt, fearing he may look slightly needy, but it was impossible for him to completely suppress. His eyes lit up and his smile broadened.

"I will meet you back here at 1400hrs. Ok?" she whispered before grabbing her coat.

"Yes ma'am." He nodded as he watched her disappear.

**H50**

Steve walked casually into the 5-0 office followed by a ruffled looking Danny.

"How did it go?" Chin asked.

"I thought it went well." Steve nodded innocently.

"You thought it went well?" Danny hissed. "That's because you giving a 'please explain' to the Governor about how you managed to cause a multiple car pileup on the Ala Moana Boulevard, complete with automatic weapon fire, is normal to you. That, my friend, is why I am two seconds away from having you committed. It's not normal, Steven, not normal at all."

Kono raised her eyebrows.

Steve smirked.

"You're smiling again… It's making me nervous." Danny pushed.

"We got anything?" Steve asked.

"Nothing." Chin shook his head. "The streets are quiet."

"As will this office be for seven beautiful days whilst you go play survivor in the jungle." Danny answered.

"Ok… well I'll grab some of my things and head on out then." Steve nodded before heading to his office.

"Is anyone else unnerved by his aura today?" Danny asked as he looked back at Chin and Kono.

"It is kind of strange that he seems so calm about leaving this place for a week. We're usually pushing him through the door to take time out." Chin nodded. "But I don't think you should knock it."

"I agree… but he's usually only this goofy when he's about to do something crazy." Danny nodded.

"Well you're the detective without a case, Danny." Kono nodded. "Go ahead… go question him."

"I will." Danny answered seriously.

"You do that." Chin smirked.

Danny headed over to Steve's office, pushing open the door and glancing back as it closed behind him. "So…" he cleared his throat. "What's going on? Anything you want to talk about?"

Steve glared at him with a smirk. "Talk about?"

"Yeah you know? Chat, gossip, have a conversation… chew the fat." He answered.

"Danny, you just got done yelling at me for my work place conduct and now you want to have a chat?" Steve grinned.

"There it is again… that grinning. I don't like it, Steve… I don't know if I should be rejoicing that somewhere in that crazy mind of yours something is making you happy. Now in any normal person I would be thinking it would be thoughts of kittens or puppies, long strolls down a beach at sunset… but your mind I'm leaning toward AK-47's and hanging potential suspects, or work colleagues, off the roofs of 10 story buildings."

"I going to ask Catherine to marry me." Steve replied casually as he pushed his laptop in a bag.

"Woah… you're what?"

"I…" he started as if he was speaking to someone who had trouble comprehending English. "Am going to ask Catherine to marry me."

Danny frowned. "I never thought I would see the day where I would have preferred you be thinking about AK-47's."

"Thanks for your unwavering support Danny." Steve nodded. "I thought you would approve?"

"Of Catherine? Yes. Of you, anyone, making the leap into matrimony, not so much. That shouldn't come as a shock to you though, right?" he shuffled on his feet as Steve glared at him. "I truly commend Catherine for taking you on. I mean with us… it was more a necessity, thrown together because our worlds collide and I've spent the past four years trying to get away from you… but with her, she has made calculated choices and somehow she found a side to you, which remains elusive to me, that's appealing."

"She wants to have kids."

Danny opened his eyes wide.

"Go on…" Steve nodded.

"What?" he shrugged.

"Say what you want to say. Me, have kids… go ahead Danny… say it."

"I wasn't going to say anything." He argued.

"Sure you were. Something along the lines of, you're useless with kids, you're not right in the head to be bringing up children, the world is not prepared for miniature versions of me running around. Go ahead."

"If this was a conversation we were having in the week I met you I'd be seriously questioning you, but you've come leaps and bounds since then. I mean you don't completely freak kids out anymore. You're great with Grace… I mean you've watched me enough. That would have helped."

Steve rolled his eyes as he looked away. "You taught me everything I know." He answered dryly.

"Right?" he nodded seriously. "So, no… I actually think you would make a great dad."

Steve slumped down in the chair and leant back.

"You really want to do this?" Danny asked. "Given everything you've seen between me and Chin… given everything this job has done to our relationships?"

"It wasn't 5-0 that split you and Rachel up, Danny… and there is a massive difference between Cath and Malia." Steve responded softly.

Danny could see his words had deflated Steve's excitement and suddenly felt a stab of guilt. "Hey, look… I'm sorry. You're right. There are extreme differences between our relationships." He paused. "You know, if anyone has the chance to make it the distance you guys have it."

Steve's eyes drifted down as he worked through his thoughts. "Catherine is the only person I have ever really connected with, the only one I have ever been drawn to. I want what you've had, Danny. I want what you've still got. I'm tired of being alone. I want to grow up, I want to have a life with her and do everything I can to make it work." He paused. "She makes me happy, more than I ever thought anyone ever could."

"I can see that." He nodded genuinely. "So are you going to take her somewhere nice to pop the question?" he asked.

"Thought I might do it whilst we are hiking."

Danny leant against the back of the chair. "Steve… I know to you, nothing says I love you more than wrestling with leaches and alligators in the Hawaiian jungle."

"There are no alligators in the Hawaiian jungle, Danny…" he replied softly.

"But please, please, believe me when I tell you that she will not thank you for it. Do yourself a favor… make a night of it… do it by the beach, make it special… surf and turf, candles… not in a waterlogged tent lit by a mag light and serving up Military issued MRE's." He pleaded.

Steve smiled before noticing Catherine walking over to the door.

"Hey… can I speak with you for a minute?" She said as she poked her head through the door.

"I was just leaving." Danny nodded.

"What's up? You ok?" Steve asked softly.

She sighed. "Actually, no… I just got a call from a friend."

Steve frowned.

"They've asked me to fly back to the mainland for a few days to help with some intel."

He thinned his lips with disappointment. "Let me guess. You would have to leave today?"

"I can say no if you really want me too, but I did say when I left that I was interested in consulting work… and we did talk about this."

"No, you should go." Steve nodded.

"I should be four days, tops. I'm not cancelling… just delaying for a couple of days."

He stood up, walked around the desk and rested his hands gently on her arms. "Cath, it's fine. Really."

She smiled gently at him, she could see the disappointment but he was so understanding that it made it easier. "Thank you…" she whispered as she kissed him on the lips. "I'll call you when I land. I love you."

"I love you too." He smiled.

Danny walked back in. "You ok?"

"Yeah…" he nodded as he grabbed his bag and put it over his shoulder. "Cath has to go back to the mainland for a couple of days."

"Oh no… so not much 'me Tarzan, you Jane' happening then?" Danny smirked.

"Not for her anyway." Steve replied, grinning as he walked out of the door.

"Steve, you are not seriously going out there on your own." He called out. "What if you fall down a cliff? I mean it's not like you haven't done it before!" he yelled as Steve disappeared.

**H50**

_**Three days later.**_

"You would think that this town would be a buzz of criminal activity when word got out that McGarratt was on vacation. Alas, nothing."

Chin smirked before his smile faded and his focus locked back at a news report on the screen.

"What you looking at?"

"The reports from the attack at the military base in Ohio." Chin replied.

"Oh the bomb?" Danny frowned at the TV as he studied the images.

"They're saying there are 23 dead. Over 40 missing. Since it happened over thirty six hours ago they are losing hope of finding any more survivors." Kono responded.

"Wow." Danny shook his head.

Their attention was drawn to a familiar figure in the doorway as a young woman made her way in.

"Lori." Danny smiled.

"What up, girl?" Kono said as she stood up and hurried over. "You didn't say you were coming for a visit."

"Hey…" Lori smiled thinly.

"What happened?" Chin frowned as he noted the bruises and lacerations on her exposed skin.

She paused for a moment. "I've been trying to contact Steve… I just keep getting his voice mail."

"He's gone native." Danny replied. "He should be back in a couple of days."

"Danny… I really need to find him." Lori answered.

Danny noted her tone and her expression and knew it was serious. "What is it? What's happened?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Steve raised his arm up to shield his eyes from the harsh sunlight as he'd noted the higher than normal amount of military aircraft buzzing around the mountains. The one above him now seemed different to all the others that had simply flown over, this one appeared to be honing in on his location.

He moved out to a clearing where he knew it would land if need be. Perhaps it was to rescue some lost tourists and he could render assistance.

As he came into view the helicopter accelerated it's decent with all the confirmation the crew needed that they were in the right spot. Steve thinned his eyes as he saw a guy sitting by the doors with a familiar crisp light shirt and a tie.

"Seriously Danno? You can't do this without me for a couple of days?" he whispered as the sound of the rotors replaced the silence and the stillness shattered by the winds whipping up dust and blades of lush green grass. He started to head over to the aircraft but as the pilot shut down the engine and another figure appeared behind Danny he stopped and frowned. "Lori?" he mumbled.

"Steve…" Danny called as he navigated through the undergrowth.

"What's going on?" he asked calmly. "Hey…" he said as he hugged Lori tightly.

She held back from holding him. Still in both shock and a heightened level of anxiety for what she was about to reveal.

Danny's eyes drifted down as he patted Steve on the shoulder. "We need to talk."

Steve's eyes alternated between the pair for a moment before nodding. "Sure. Everything ok?" he asked as a thousand thoughts went through his head.  
None could connect Lori and Danny together.

Lori hesitated for a moment before she conjured up the courage to start. "Steve, its Catherine."

Still the connection made no sense. What was Lori doing there? Even more confusing, what was she doing talking about Catherine? "Catherine… she's on the mainland doing some consulting."

Lori nodded as she fought back her emotions. "I know… I was the one she was doing the work for… for Homeland."

Steve frowned. "Ok." He nodded, still completely in the dark.

"Steve, Cath was asked to conduct intelligence work at Fort Mason in Ohio." Danny started to explain. "A risk assessment on some threats they had against the base."

McGarretts eyes locked on Lori, noting her unease before focusing back on Danny.

"Unfortunately it seems that the threats were very real, an attack took place the day before yesterday." He paused. "Lori and Catherine were onsite."

His heart rate started to speed as he listened carefully to the story. "You got hurt?" he asked as he looked back at Lori and the damage done to her face.

"All superficial." She replied softly and her tone dripping with guilt.

He nodded gently. "Catherine?"

Lori closed her eyes as she braced herself. "She's missing, Steve."

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Chin and Kono headed out from their offices as they saw Danny come back in. "Where's the boss?" Kono asked.

"Gone back to his place to grab a couple of things, he's trying to work on getting a flight out to Toledo. Lori's bringing him in here shortly."

"I figured getting over there would be his first instinct." Kono nodded. "I went ahead and looked for flights, but as we know there is a severe weather band stretching over a significant area of the East Coast and inland… the snow storm is causing all kinds of delays to transportation nationwide. I've managed to get them booked on a flight leaving tomorrow afternoon, but who knows… the backlog of delays will probably hold that flight back even further. I just sent Lori the details."

"Nice work." Danny nodded.

"How did he take it?" Chin asked.

Danny sighed as he thinned his lips. "He just wants some answers. Preferably good ones. What do we know?"

Chin pressed a file on the screen which brought up a bunch of documents with Catherine's picture on them. "From what Lori said, Catherine was over there as a civilian and given the sensitive nature of why she was there, she was probably on site under a different identity." He turned to the screen. "However, it must be one that Homeland gave her because none of the names she has here on the island have been used."

"If that was the case then Lori can tell us. She was the one who brought Catherine in, she would know the name." Kono answered as she crossed her arms over her chest and looked up at the screen.

"Lori checked both the civilian and military personnel security logs and the name she thought Cath was using didn't appear on either. She it wasn't uncommon for military bases to want to keep these types of investigations and visits completely off record" He nodded. "She's looking into it more."

"Ok, so say Catherine was off the grid…" Danny started. "That's only going to make it harder to find her. Where do we start?"

"Lori has a friend in the investigation team who was willing to mirror the declassified information over to us, mainly the victim reports. This gave us access to photos of the deceased and the critically wounded. I thought I could at least spare Steve from sifting through the images trying to find her."

Danny nodded as the images flashed up on the monitors.

"All of these victims have been identified except for two, both males." Chin nodded.

"Again, how does this help?" Danny replied. "If she's not identified here, she hasn't come forward then surly the only other option would not be a good one."

"There were a number of walking wounded who made it to local medical facilities in the hours before any kind of coordination was established. Most of these people were either discharged or left before a record of survivors was in the motions. It's possible Catherine got to one of those centers, but that she was using a name that we have no record for."

Danny sighed as he leant against the desk. "We need that name."

"Right." Chin nodded. "In the mean time I've sent out her details to the local police department and all the medical facilities. If she's out there, she'll be found it just might take some time."

"I'm assuming the local departments will be under some pressure. If only we could get someone on the ground to start off." Kono replied. "Is there anyone locally we could commission?"

"Catherine's parents are heading here. They were on vacation in Hong Kong but her brother, Chris, is in Boston. Lori said that he's trying to make his way down." Danny nodded.

"Well at least that's something." Kono answered.

"What about Joe?" Chin frowned. "He called Steve last week, said he was in West Virginia."

"See if you can contact him." Danny straightened with urgency. "He has more of a chance of getting in the loop of official information than Cath's brother."

"I'm on it." Chin nodded as he took off back to his room.

"I'll start sifting through the other intel we got from the investigation team." Kono nodded. "Maybe we can pick up a lead?"

"Good idea." Danny nodded.

"I understand, Governor… but if there is any other way…" Steve said as he hurried through the office on his cell phone and into his room.

Danny rested his eyes on Lori as she trailed slowly behind him. "Ok, he looks slightly more stressed than when I left you." He frowned. "What did you do to him?"

"He's not taking the whole logistics problem very well. He just keeps telling me he has to get over there today." Lori sighed as they watched him through the glass.

"And he's trying to get the Governor to do what exactly?"

"Charter a plane."

"Right… and did you remind him that there is a severe weather event going on top of the airport he wants to fly to? That the whole of the East coast is at a standstill?" Danny growled.

"Yes, Danny, I did. But no isn't usually a word he likes to hear."

He sighed. "Alright… ok… I'll talk to him. He's hears that word a lot from me."

"Yeah and if my memory serves me right it usually makes him even more determined to go against you so whatever you do, word it wisely."

"You're right." Danny nodded. "Maybe I'll skirt around that specific word."

"Great idea." Lori nodded.

"Danny…" Chin called. "Joe's on board. He's getting in his car right now, he thinks he'd be able to get there in four or five hours."

"Good. That's great." Danny nodded before glancing back at Lori.

She leant against the screen and closed her eyes, a single tear falling down.

"Hey… what's going on?" Danny frowned.

"It's my fault. I'm responsible for whatever has happened to her."

"What? No." he hissed with certainty. "You couldn't have known this was going to happen."

"I knew there was a threat against the base." She nodded.

"Lori… there are threats against this place and HPD every single day… some of them very real and credible… but we still make the conscious decision to turn up to work every day. Catherine's been living in this world for most of her career… just because she's a civilian now doesn't mean she didn't know what she was walking in to."

"Steve holds me responsible too… I can see it… in his eyes… every time he looks at me." She whispered as she looked around to Steve who was pacing around the office with his cell to his ear. "He can't hide it."

"Listen to me… you're sensitive at the moment. Understandably so… and so is he… but he would never lay this at your feet." He said as he curled his hands around her arms. He sighed. "I haven't been in this kind of situation with Steve before… I have no idea how he will react if this goes south, but I know he would never hold you responsible."

She nodded as another tear escaped from her eye.

"Why don't you go help Kono with the intel?" Danny whispered softly.

"Sure…" she said as she composed herself and wiped away the tear.

Danny took a deep breath and headed into Steve's office.

"Son of a bitch!" he growled as he slammed his cell phone down then grabbed his things together.

"Woo woo woo… where are you going?" Danny hissed.

"To the airport… I'll find someone who can help me."

"Find someone? What you mean to say is that you'll find someone to help you under duress." He said as he opened the door. "Come on… I'll drive you… I'll even help you convince someone at gun point… but it's not going to change the fact that no one can land." He growled. "Go ahead… let's get you arrested… that's really going to help the situation."

"Danny… if this was Gracie, would you sit here and do nothing?" Steve snapped.

Danny let go of the door. "No… I wouldn't… but what I do know is that I would have a more rational outlook that wouldn't involve taking someone hostage, stealing and aircraft and flying into a snow storm." Danny said loudly with hand gestures to back his point. "Steven… please… I know right now might not seem like the time to exercise common sense and caution, god knows you've never done it before, but I'm begging you… just give it a go."

Steve slumped down in his chair and raised his hands to his head. "I need to be there Danny. She shouldn't be alone."

Danny walked over slowly, sitting down at the desk. "I know… but right now it's just not an option." He whispered sympathetically. "Chin got hold of Joe… he's on his way to the base… should be there in a couple of hours. That's as good as we can get it right now, and I know it's not ideal but it means she's not out there alone."

Steve closed his eyes tightly as he conjured up all his strength to resist his instincts to run.

"Listen… she's probably the only one there who will have people on the ground and a whole team four and a half thousand miles away dedicated to finding her. All I'm asking is that you sit tight."

Steve nodded gently.

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"What's that?" Lori asked as she pointed at Kono's screen.

"That's an updated on the area of detonation." Kono answered. "Velocity calculations and chance of survival in an overlay of the base map. It also includes some live satellite pictures of the map. I can see the summary page but I can't open it, it's classified… I'm guessing because of base security details."

"Here…" she said as she leant over and tapped in a password. "Now try."

Kono opened the file, bringing a window to life.

Lori studied it before she winced with defeat.

"What?" Kono asked. "What is it?"

"Catherine and I were working out of this building in the northern end of the base." She pointed to an area outside the main blast zone. "She picked up a lead from a computer over in the archives building… it had its security tampered with last week. She suspected it had been used to relay information to the outside from but she was having problems accessing the system remotely… she said it would be easier to literally work from the machine itself."

"Where was that?" Kono frowned.

Lori sighed as she bit her lip. She raised her hand and pointed to a red area on the map. "Here…"

Kono's eyes widened. "That's literally in the blast zone…"

"Worst still it's in what they call the dead man's zone." Lori replied as she rested her hand down. "Kono… anyone who was in this immediate radius when the bomb went off wouldn't have made it out."

Kono sighed sympathetically.

"More to the point, the identification process for anyone in that radius becomes far more complex… they won't be pulling body parts out… more like tissue and blood… identifying victims within this area could take a long time if ever."

"Steve's not going to let this go until he has hard evidence that she was caught up in the blast." Kono shook her head.

"I know." Lori nodded.

**Authors note: Thank you so much for the kind comments and the follows.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Cat, please, please… call me." Steve said as he held his cell tight against his ear before ending the call and dropping the cell on the desk.

"Still no answer?" Danny asked as he walked into the office with Lori behind him.

"No…" Steve whispered.

"Alright, look… Joe called in, he's on the ground there."

"Did he go to her hotel?" Steve asked.

"It was the first place we sent him." Lori nodded. "The room hasn't been touched since she left on Sunday morning."

"What the hell was she doing at the base in the first place, Lori?" he snapped as he looked around to her. "This kind of thing is usually done remotely, no?"

"Usually, yes." Lori answered softly, avoiding eye contact with him.

"Then why was she onsite?" he growled.

Lori sighed and shrugged gently. "Our intel showed us that there was a security breach in their server… we believed information about the base was being traded to a group, or an individual, who was planning this attack but through an onsite computer. Catherine explained that, for security reasons, it would be better for her to be onsite because the extent of the breach wasn't known. I agreed. Neither of us wanted any more information compromised. If we had gone in remotely it could have tipped whoever off that we were looking around."

"Well that worked out perfectly didn't it." He snarled.

Lori closed her eyes. "Steve, you can't make me feel any worse than I already do."

"Really?" He nodded as he locked yes menacingly with her.

"I'm clearly not helping matters by being here… I'm going to head back to my hotel… I want me to call me on my cell if you need anything." She whispered as she battled to keep the emotions at bay.

Danny watched her hurry out of the office and over to the main doors. "What the hell was that about?" he turned and looked at Steve.

He raised his hands up to his head and turned. "She should have stayed there, not boarded the first plane out… what use is she here?"

"If she'd been able to get hold of you she wouldn't have come here. She did it out of respect for you." He snapped. "And she's been giving us all kinds of access to the investigation that we wouldn't normally have."

"How much of it has helped us get any closer to knowing where Catherine is?"

Danny frowned. "Lori said she thought you blamed her… I told her she was crazy. It's not her fault, Steve."

He paused as the anger inside of him seemed to dissipate. "I know…" he whispered.

"We're going to find her…" he nodded with certainty.

Steve's eyes glistened with tears.

Danny knew he should have been relieved and even rejoicing in finally seeing a whole new range of emotions come out in Steve, but if he was honest he found it somewhat disconcerting. He didn't have the first idea how to handle Steve like this, he would just have to go with his instincts. "Come on…" Danny whispered as he walked around and grabbed Steve's arm gently. "Come on… let's get out of here."

"Danny…" Steve said softly as he shook his head.

"It's late, there isn't anything you can do right now… besides you look like hell. Come on… I'll take you home… I'll stay with you. It'll be great… just like a sleep over. Let's go."

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The sun was only starting to rise over the water when Danny heard a car pull up outside the house. He opened his eyes as he sat in the armchair, relieved to see Steve still sleeping on the couch where he'd left him.

He stood up and headed for the door, quietly opening it and heading out onto the porch where he was met by Chin and Kono.

"Howzit?" Chin nodded as he stepped up onto the porch.

"Never let it be said that I don't go above and beyond to take care of a friend in need." Danny nodded as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"The boss here?" Kono asked.

"Ah, he is… but he's pretty out of it right now." Danny nodded.

Chin frowned and glanced at Kono before looking back at Danny. "Out of it?"

"After watching him spend most of the night walking around like a caged lion, I decided I needed sleep, he defiantly needed sleep… so I may have improvised."

"Improvised how?" Kono frowned. "You didn't drug him?"

"I may have slipped him something in a coffee, around stupid o'clock this morning, that would have calmed him down."

"Oh. My. God." Kono rolled her eyes.

"Yeah well, pistol whipping him into unconsciousness was a step too far I thought." Danny replied.

"And this is your idea of going above and beyond?" Kono shook her head.

"Because of my incredibly brave and incredibly resourceful actions he is still on that couch and didn't go all black ops during the night."

"He needs to be at Hickham Airforce Base in less than two hours." Chin nodded.

"You got him a flight?" Danny frowned.

"Lori did… and as luck would have it there is a break in the weather the other end." Chin continued.

"I guess I should go put some coffee on…" Kono pushed past. "That's if he'll ever drink it again."

"Hey yo, Kono…" Danny said nervously. "Not a word to Steve about the coffee thing… ok?"

She smirked. "It will cost you… big time."

"I'm sure it will." Danny nodded. "So, is there any chance you could get me on that flight too?" he asked Chin.

"I wouldn't have thought it would be a problem. Steve want you to go?"

"No. I'm pretty certain Steve would hate for me to go… I just got a feeling someone should go with him."

Chin frowned with suspicion. "What's going on?"

Danny thinned his lips as he looked around. "I'm just… I'm just a little worried…"

"About Steve?"

"He's acting out."

"You always think he acts out." Chin smirked.

"No, normal acting out is something I am strangely comfortable with… but this… this is something else." He sighed. "I can't explain it. I just think I should stick with him for now."

"I'll call Lori…" Chin nodded as he stepped back down off the porch.

As Danny walked back into the house he looked over to Steve who was now sitting up with his hand over his eyes wincing.

"What's the matter buddy? You got a headache?" Danny asked innocently.

"More than one… Danny, more than one." Steve replied.

"Here… have some coffee…" Kono said as she rested a cup down on the table in front of him. "You got a flight out in ninety minutes, direct to Toledo."

"What?" Steve frowned.

"Lori managed to clear a flight. There's currently a break in the weather, but it's a military flight so even if the storm does start up again they're more likely to land than a commercial airliner." Kono continued.

"Ok…" Steve answered urgently. "I'll get my things together."

"You can pick me up on the way through." Danny nodded.

"You're coming with?" Steve frowned as he turned before he headed up the stairs.

"Yeah, I mean you've always said you'd show me the world…"

Steve thinned his lips into a smile of appreciation. "Thanks Danny."

"Welcome." He nodded as he watched Steve run up the stairs.

Chin stepped back inside and nodded. "Lori's having you cleared as we speak."

"Thanks man." Danny nodded.

"One condition." Kono said as she stepped over to him and held out her hand. "Cough it up."

"Are you kidding me?"

"Danny… you can't go drugging people… here in Hawaii we consider it illegal."

"And yet in New Jersey we often call it self preservation… especially when traveling with an irate Navy Seal." He replied.

"Danny."

"I'd do it brother." Chin smirked.

Danny reached a small plastic bag from his pocket with a couple of pills inside. "You know I was saving the rest for me… I'm sure there will be a time when I'll feel the need to knock myself out."

"Let me know… I'll let Steve know your dirty secret and you can find out how effective the pistol whip is." Kono smirked.

"Oh that's… that's nice." He nodded. "You have no mercy."

Chin's cell phone sounded. "Joe…" he answered.

Kono and Danny looked over.

Chin looked up at the pair with wide eyes. "I got it. I'll let him know."

"What? Let him know what?" Danny asked.

"They pulled Catherine out of the rubble forty minutes ago. She's hurt but she's alive."

"STEVE!" Danny yelled.

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

Steve pushed through the interior doors at the military medical facility with Danny following, he raced over to a nurses desk and rested his hands on top. "Sargent, I'm looking for Catherine Rollins. She was dug out of the Mason base rubble earlier today."

"And your name?"

"Commander Steve McGarrett." He replied softly.

The nurse straightened as she looked at him. "Certainly, I'll look her up for you, sir."

"Steve…" he heard a familiar voice call out from the other end of the corridor.

He looked over to see Joe standing there. "You know what, it's ok. I've got her." Steve sprinted towards him. "Where is she?"

"In here… just so you know, she looks worse than she is. Doctor says she's doing well, all things considered." Joe nodded. "She's been asking for you."

He pushed past his friend and in to the room, confronted with Catherine sitting up in the bed with her face badly cut. He swooped down, embracing her tightly as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. "God, I'm so glad to see you." He sighed as his eyes welled with tears.

"I'm so sorry…" she whispered as she tightened her grip.

"You have nothing to be sorry about." He replied. "I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner…"

"Joe explained." She answered as the pair separated.

"How are you feeling?"

"Numb at the moment… it's probably a good thing, right?" She smiled as she held his hand tightly. "Lori…"

"She's ok…" he nodded as he looked softly into her eyes. "Cat, I was so scared I'd lost you."

She grinned. "Not that easy."

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

"Other than the moderate hypothermia and some lacerations she's fine. The doctors believe her training has a lot to do with her survival in those kinds of temperatures." Danny nodded as he looked at Chin and Kono on his cell phone.

"That's great news Danny." Chin said as he and Kono stood in front of the screens in the Five-0 office.

"They hope to release her in the morning… if that's the case I'm pretty certain Steve will want to get her back home." He nodded. "I've been trying to reach Lori, to see if she can organize another transport out of here, but I can't reach her."

"That's because she's on a flight back to the mainland." Kono nodded.

"She left already?" Danny frowned.

"Without a word…" Chin said softly. "We only knew because we also tried to call her cell, when she didn't answer we contacted the hotel, they said she'd got a cab to the airport earlier today… she's on a flight back to DC."

"She was pretty upset about how things were left between her and Steve." Kono said softly.

"Yeah…" Danny sighed. "I know he wants to square things up with her."

"I still have the contact at the Airbase… I can see what I can do." Kono started. "The guy knows Steve and Catherine and was very willing to do anything he could do to help them out."

"Can you contact him? Please?"

"Sure thing." Kono nodded before leaving the room.

Chin waited a moment before looking back to Danny. "How's Steve holding up?"

"Back to normal… maybe not as homicidal as usual… but a marked improvement to yesterday."

Chin smiled. "You figure out what it was about him that was worrying you?"

Danny nodded. "Steve spends his life in control… even when its chaos, he causes his own chaos to gain back the upper hand… with this he just didn't have anything, and there was nothing he could do. It was the first time I've ever seen him grapple with that."

"Despite medicating your best friend by spiking his drink, you're a good man Danny." Chin smiled broadly.

"Yeah, well. You gotta do what you gotta do." Danny smirked. "I'll speak to you later."

"Later brah."

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

Steve lay on the bed beside Catherine, eager not to disturb her but his arm felt numb positioned behind her head as she nestled her face into his chest.

"Hey…" Danny walked in quietly.

"Hey…" Steve whispered as he carefully maneuvered Catherine off his arm and slid it out from under her, he stood up and walked over to the doorway, glancing back at her before walking out into the corridor with Danny.

"Kono and Chin have secured a military flight back to Honolulu, leaving at 1300hrs."

He sighed with relief. "That's awesome." He nodded.

"You should also know that Lori left without telling anyone. Kono said she was pretty upset with how things ended with you."

Steve closed his eyes with disappointment. "I'll call her."

"So I take it you haven't asked Cath yet?" Danny enquired.

Steve grinned. "Asked her what?"

"You know what. Don't get all stupid with me." He snapped lightly.

"I didn't think you approved." Steve smirked.

"Well, I didn't… but then I saw what you were like when you thought you'd lost her… and if asking her to marry you is a way of making sure she stays then  
I'm all for it."

Steve lowered his head.

"You guys, you have something going on between you that's a lot stronger than Rachel and I had. I get that now."

Steve smiled softly. "The ring is back in Honolulu."

"I assumed that was the case…" Danny nodded as he pulled a faux diamond ring out of his pocket. "Grace must have left it in my bag the last time she came to visit. Improvise, right? That's what you Navy Seals are trained to do."

He smiled softly as he took the ring from Danny's grip. "You really think this is the time and the place? Last week you insisted I did this properly."

"Again… the last couple of days has taught me that none of that matters." Danny shrugged. "Anyway, unless there is drama surrounding everything you do then it really doesn't feel right. Gotta have a story for the kids one day, right?"

"Right." Steve nodded.

"Well, what are you waiting for? Go ahead…" he pushed Steve on the arm, shoving him gently into the room. "What does Beyoncé say? If you like it then you should put a ring on it. Not exactly the line but you get my drift."

"Beyoncé? Really?" Steve frowned.

"Sure. Inside of me there is a whole 'child of destiny' waiting to bust out. If you're nice I might even sing a little number at your wedding, as my gift to you." He pushed him again. "Now go… go get her tiger."

Steve stumbled back through the door, pushing the ring in his pocket.

"Where did you go?" Catherine said sleepily.

He sat down and held her hand. "Play date with Danny."

"Danny's here?" she asked.

"Naturally." Steve nodded. "Listen…" he smiled and edged closer to her. "I wanted to do this when we were away, and then things happened… and I know this isn't ideal, but I just don't feel like I can wait anymore."

She frowned with a smirk. "What?"

He pulled the ring from out of his pocket and pinched it in his fingertips as he presented it. "Marry me?"

She started to laugh softly as tears welled in her eyes. "Seriously?"

"Never been more serious in my life." He shook his head. "I have a ring at home that screams how serious I really am, but for now you are going to have to make do with one of Gracie's dress rings."

She held her hand out as he slipped it on her finger before wrapping her arms around him.

"Is that a yes?" he asked cautiously.

"Yes, Steve. That's a definite 'yes'." She gushed.

Danny stood in the doorway and smiled as Joe stepped up.

"What's going on?" Joe frowned.

"Steve just officially signed his life away." Danny smirked.

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

The cool air nipped at the skin on their exposed hands and faces as Catherine was helped up the steps to the Gulfstream aircraft by the crew, closely watched by Steve.

Joe snapped his cell phone closed and walked over to Steve. "That was Agent Simms from the investigation team. When Catherine was brought in she was concerned about her cell phone. Said she had some information on it that identified a person of interest. You can tell her the cell was recovered, it was damaged but the memory card inside was intact. They pulled the data and it looks like she's hit one for the team."

"That's great news." Danny nodded.

"Mahalo, Joe." Steve said as he extended his hand out. "For everything."

"You're welcome son. I'm glad I could help." Joe replied as he returned the gesture.

"When are you coming back to the Aloha State?" Danny asked.

"I might have some down time in a couple of weeks." Joe nodded.

"Well, beers are on Steve." Danny nodded.

"Sounds good." Joe smirked.

"Come on… get in the plane." Steve instructed. "I'll see you soon." He turned to Joe.

Joe smiled and nodded.

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

"You want some water?" Steve asked Catherine.

"Yeah, that would be good." She nodded as she shifted to try to get comfortable in the seat.

"Nice ring." Danny nodded as he stepped over to Catherine.

"You like it?" she held her hand out.

"I do… I liked it more on Steve but that's a whole other story."

Catherine laughed softly as Danny sat down next to her.

Her smile faded. "Tell me he's not doing this out of pity."

"Who Steve?" Danny frowned. "Are you kidding me? No. He's doing it because he's crazy about you."

"Really?"

"Don't say that like you don't know." He mocked. "You know it." He said before he leant over to her. "Let me tell you something. In the almost five years I've been Steve's partner he's never stopped being fearless, never once showed weakness." He paused. "Until the minute he found out you were missing." He shrugged and shook his head. "You have a hold on him Catherine… and to be honest I could use you to my advantage so I'm all for this crazy idea that you two should stick around."

Catherine laughed softly.

"Here…" Steve said as he walked back down the aisle with a bottle of water. "We'll be landing in thirty minutes."

"Thanks…" she whispered as she grabbed the bottle. "I think I might go freshen up…"

"Sure." Steve nodded. "You alright."

"I'm fine." She smiled. "I love you." She kissed him softly on the lips.

"Agh…" Danny winced. "Get a room."

Steve sat down opposite him and grinned.

"There's that grin again." Danny shuddered.

"I have everything to smile about." He nodded. "Danny… I know this is hard for you… but it's not going to affect us… what we have, it's special." He continued sarcastically.

"Shut up."

"Just because I have Cat, you'll always be the other man in my life." He nodded.

"Ok, you know what? Stop."

"You love me… just admit it." Steve grinned.

"No… I love to hate you… big difference." He replied. "Massive difference."

Steve chuckled.

"You want a coffee?" Danny asked.

"No Danny, I do not want a coffee." He answered sternly.

"What's with the tone?"

"You know exactly what's with the tone." Steve nodded with a menacing smirk. "Sleep with one eye open, Danny. One eye open."

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

Steve looked at his watch before turning back to look down the aisle. "What is she doing?"

"Look, when a woman says she is freshening up its code for hours of fanning her eyelashes and putting on lipstick."

"Fanning her eyelashes?" Steve replied with disgust that he would even use those words in the same sentence.

"The point I'm making, Steven, is that you just let them do what they have to do and never put an ETA on them." Danny said with authority.

"Yeah well, we're going to land in fifteen minutes." He stood up and walked toward the restroom. He knocked against the door. "Cat, come on… we're landing." He paused as there was no reply. "Cat…"

Danny looked up.

"Catherine… c'mon… open up." He knocked on the door again before trying to open it. "Hey…" he said to one of the crew calmly. "Do me a favor, open this door."

"Sir." The woman nodded as she lifted up a concealed latch and opened the door.

Steve's eyes widened when he saw Catherine slumped on the floor. "Cath!" he yelled as he scooped down and put his hand behind her back. "Catherine!"

"Steve?" Danny said cautiously as he stood up, he could hear the stress in his friend's voice.

Steve pressed his fingers against her neck. "No… no Cat… no…" he shook his head as he pulled her out and leant her against his chest. "Someone help."

"Sir, we got her…" another crew member hurried over and laid her flat against the ground.

"What happened?" Danny shouted as he raced up.

Steve pushed himself back, leaning up against the side of the plane and raising his hands to his head.

"She's not breathing…" the crew member announced to another.

"I couldn't find a pulse." Steve shook his head.

Danny's eyes shifted from Catherine's vacant face to Steve's expression filled with pure agony as the pair watched the crew frantically start working on her  
lifeless body.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

Chin and Kono had been standing on the tarmac for a short while, as they waited for the military aircraft to touch down. At first everything had seemed routine until the radio's attached to all ground personnel seemed to come to life with muffled yet urgent voices.

They remained unalarmed by the spike in activity, occasionally looking at one another with questioning expressions but other than the bustle on the tarmac there was nothing to suggest it was either sinister nor related to their incoming flight.

As the landing lights from the aircraft flicked on some distance away their attention was instantly drawn to an Ambulance clearing the security gate. Chin shuffled on his feet, a concern welling deep inside of him.

Kono turned to him and frowned as she silently asked a thousand questions that he did not have the answers too.

The plane touched down and immediately stopped still on the runway as the Ambulance headed over with its lights flashing away.

"Chin…" Kono whispered as she stiffened.

"Get in the car." He ordered.

The pair followed the ambulance at high speed, coming to a screeching halt as the two EMT's hurried up the steps and boarded the plane. The access was  
then quickly covered by two military crew members.

"Chin Ho Kelly, 5-0…" he said as he showed his badge.

"I'm sorry, sir… we can't let you on the aircraft."

"Our team is on there." He argued.

"I understand that, sir… but instructions have been given by the pilot to refuse entry to all non-essential personnel." The crew member answered.

"Can you at least tell us what's going on?" Kono asked softly.

"I'm sorry, ma'am. I'm not at liberty to give out any information. My supervising officer will be on scene shortly." He replied.

"Forget it." Chin whispered to her. "I'll call Steve."

Kono followed her cousin over to the hood of their vehicle as Chin selected the number in speed dial and pressed the cell to his ear. He shrugged after a short time. "Steve's not picking up."

"Try Danny…" Kono nodded.

Chin selected another number before repeating the process. He sighed as he dropped his arm down and hit the end call button. "Neither is Danny."

"What do we do?" She frowned with concern.

"Wait… Here's Danny now." He said, nodding towards the steps of the plane.

Danny walked over somberly, followed by a number of people including the EMT's who disembarked the aircraft. He pushed his hands in his pockets. His eyes reddened and his overwhelmed expression.

"What's going on?" Kono asked as she and Chin stepped closer.

He closed his eyes as he replayed the unimaginable events through his mind, mentally pinching himself to make sure he was clear that this was happening. He walked straight past them, leaning against the hood of the car and bowing his head. "It's Catherine." Was all he could conjure up.

Chin frowned as he craned his neck around to try and read Danny's hidden face. "What about her?"

"Danny." Kono prompted him, impatient yet sympathetic to his shaken state.

Danny inhaled deeply before standing straight and looking to them. "She collapsed, on the plane… they don't know why… they suspect it was something to do with her injuries."

"Is she alright?" Chin shrugged with unease.

"No…" he whispered as his eyes floated down. "They couldn't revive her…" he said softly. "There was nothing anyone could do."

Kono raised her hand to her mouth silently and her eyes widened with shock.

Chin closed his eyes as he turned away.

"Where's Steve?" Kono whispered.

"He's still on there…" Danny said softly as he nodded toward the plane. "He needed some time…"

Kono started to make her way towards the aircraft.

"Cuz… maybe not now…" Chin shook his head.

She looked back, a certain fire in her eyes burnt. "I'm not leaving him on his own."

"I'm just saying…" he continued.

"No, it's fine Chin…" Danny held his hand out. "Let her go."

Kono hurried up the stairs but slowed down as she reached the door. She suddenly realized she had no idea what she was going to do or say, her heart skipped a beat with anxiety. What if she said the wrong thing? What if she made things worse for him? She sighed softly, she could only do her best. As she stepped into the cabin she was met by a young USAF crew member, she expected some kind of resistance but was surprised to see him simply lower his head and step aside. "Thank you." She whispered.

"Ma'am." He nodded with respect.

Steve came into view almost immediately, sitting on the floor with his back against the side of the plane. His eyes firmly fixed on Catherine's peaceful expression. His look was blank of any emotion's, no tears, no anger, nothing. Though it seemed he was completely unaware of anything going on around him, least of all her presence.

"Boss…" she whispered, barely audible.

He didn't flinch, he didn't even blink as his eyes held focus on Catherine's.

"Steve…" she said slightly louder as she stepped closer.

It was as if she'd snapped him out of his trance only slightly, his eyes noticeably glistened with tears before he closed them, permitting them to flow freely down his cheeks. Still he was silent and his expression remained somewhat vacant.

Kono knew that she couldn't say anything wrong because there was simply nothing to say. She only felt an overwhelming urge to just let him know she was here, and that she wouldn't be going anywhere unless he asked her too. She crouched down next to him, softly she cupped her hand under his chin, her fingers extending around to his cheek. Her touch was so gentle, warm and comforting that it triggered reactions inside he could not control. He winced gently, his face creasing as he leant forward carefully and against her arm. He started to quietly sob.

She was surprised by the depth of his reaction, childlike and vulnerable. She pulled him closer, his head resting against her shoulder as she protectively wrapped her arm around him.

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

Danny stood at the back door of Steve's house with his hands by his side. The moon was full and its light bounced off the stillness of the water, softly highlighting Steve's silhouette as he sat alone where the yard met the beach. He was at a loss about where he could start to help his best friend, or even if he would be up to the task.

"Hey…" Chin said softly as he walked up behind Danny. "I just got off the phone with Max…"

"Is he going to do the autopsy?" Danny asked.

"No. He didn't think it was appropriate… but he is organizing another ME to conduct it, someone he knows well and speaks highly of."

"Good." Danny nodded as he looked back at Steve.

"Kono is calling Joe and Mary. Figured they should hear it from us before word gets out."

Danny nodded.

"Has he said anything?" Chin asked.

Danny shook his head. "Grabbed a beer and walked straight out there."

Chin sighed.

"Maybe you could talk to him?" Danny turned back to him again, his voice filled with optimism. "You've been through this. You could help him through it."

"Losing someone is such a personal experience, Danny… especially like this. There is no right or wrong way to get through it. He has to handle this on his own terms… all we can do is be there for him when he calls… like you were for me."

"I just feel slightly out of my depth." Danny shuffled on his feet uncomfortably. "You know?" he paused. "I've seen Steve upset, I've seen him angry… but when he walked off that plane with Kono… the suffering in his eyes… it sounds crazy but the only way I can explain it is that I didn't recognize him."

Chin nodded. "Kono was pretty shaken up by what happened on the plane with him. She said something similar. The way he held onto her. She never thought it was possible for him to break down in that way."

Danny exhaled a deep breath filled with nerves. "Ok then, as someone who has been on that side, what advice can you give me?"

"Danny, you just need to be you. He's counting on you to keep it real… don't change."

"So what are you saying? Go over there and start up an argument with him? Is that what you're saying?" Danny frowned.

Chin smiled softly. "You should give yourself more credit… there is a lot more to your friendship than that."

"Yes, but if I remove that it wouldn't be keeping it very real, now would it?" Danny nodded dryly with a mischievous smile.

Chin's smile broadened.

"Where do I start, Chin?" he asked softly, sighing as his brief amusement faded. "When all he's going to do is shut everyone out?"

"Maybe he won't. He told Kono he didn't want to be alone here tonight. We both agreed we would stay here."

"I wasn't going anywhere whether he liked it or not." Danny shook his head.

Chin nodded before he stepped back inside and walked back a moment later with two beers in his hand. "Then here and now is a great place to start." He said, passing the bottles to Danny.

He raised his eyebrows, reluctantly. "You're right…" he nodded his head as he took the beers out of Chin's hands. He slowly made his way down the yard, momentarily hesitating as he reached his friend before sitting down on the grass next to him. He paused for a moment, looking out at the subtle swell before resting the bottle of beer next to Steve.

Steve didn't turn his head, just looking to his side in Danny's direction. He lowered his head, reaching out for the bottle, clasping it in his hands. Danny remained silent, as did Steve, but both of them felt a sudden rush of comfort sweep over them. There was a deep understanding that required no dialect, as they watched the reflection of the moon extend from the horizon to the sand, its light glistening like diamonds in the water.

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

Steve glared at the clock on the nightstand, it was ten thirty in the morning and he had long given up on any hope he'd get any sleep. The night had been long, filled with a range of extreme emotions but he welcomed the daylight when it came. So many things had gone through his mind, a blame game had started around 3am but he was the only suspect.

He could hear the others creeping around downstairs, he'd been aware of several visitors, Kamekona included, but no one had bothered him. He knew Danny would be down there like a Rottweiler, keeping everyone at bay.

He sat up in the bed and inhaled the warm ocean air that drifted through the doors, his eyes adjusted to see the swell crashing down and charging up the sand. For a moment he lost himself, wondering if he should call Catherine to see if she wanted to catch a couple of sets before lunch, then it all came back to him. It was moments like that, the small everyday things, which seemed to be hitting him the hardest.

He slowly got out of the bed and walked over to the closed door to the closet, retrieving a medium sized box from inside and throwing it on the bed. He turned back, pushing aside his clothes that hung on the rail to reveal some of Catherine's things. He reached in, pulling out a couple of cocktail dresses on their hangers and carefully folding them into a big bundle then placing them in the box. He moved around to her side of the bed, perching himself on the edge of the mattress and bracing himself before opening the draw of the nightstand.

His hands fumbled around the contents, eager to scoop it all out without giving it much thought but it was impossible. A tube of hand cream stopped him immediately, he thought back to when she'd purchased it. He'd told her she was crazy to pay the kind of money she did for a cream that had the same effect as the cheap ones from the drug store. He'd insisted that its extortionate price didn't make it smell any better. Catherine had rolled her eyes and proclaimed him to be in one of his 'difficult' moods then headed over to the counter and purchased it anyway.

He smiled at the thought, she was right, it was just an opportunity to be difficult but it was usually how they communicated and it worked so well. He opened the lid and raised the tube to his nose, taking in a deep breath. It reminded him of her touch, the way she would squeeze some of the cream on her hands, like a ritual, every night before she turned the lamp off. She'd slide herself down under the covers and turn on her side to face him, brushing her hand over his cheek gently. God he would give anything for that kind of contact, just one more time.

Steve snapped the lid back onto the tube and placed it into the box with the other items then stood to head over to the chest of draws. He opened the lower two, gathering together the clothes from within and again placing them in the box before pausing. He sighed as he opened the top draw, moving some of his shirts from the side to reveal a ring box. He slipped it into his pocket and grabbed hold of the box of clothes, scanning the contents for a moment before resting it down on the bed again.

He shifted the clothes on the top, burying down with his hand until he reached what he was looking for. The tube of hand cream. He thinned his lips, out of all the things he had of Catherine's this was the last thing he expected to want to keep. The irony of how all the other things was just stuff but that a beauty product now held such sentimental value.

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

"That's not how you cook eggs." Danny shook his head with disgust at Kamekona.

"It is in Hawaii brah…" Kamekona replied as he shuffled around with an egg beater in his hand. "Egg's, cheese, peppers, chili and spam."

"For once, could we leave the spam out of a meal?" Danny responded.

"If it wasn't such an important meal then yes I would, but I know Steve loves spam."

"Right." Danny nodded, he knew he wasn't going to win this argument because Steve had always put up with the stuff so as not to offend Kamekona. "He made his bed." He put his hands up, surrendering.

"Hey…" Chin said as he got to his feet and dropped a magazine down on the coffee table as Steve walked down the stairs.

"Hey…" Steve nodded. "Catherine's things… her mom's on her way. Thought she should have them."

Danny walked through from the kitchen.

Chin frowned. "You didn't have to do that right now, Steve."

"I wanted too." Steve nodded like it was nothing.

"Did you at least sleep?" Danny asked.

"Yeah… I did actually. I slept right through." He lied, but if he told them the truth then it would only cause them to worry.

"Brother… I'm so sorry for your loss." Kamekona said as he walked through, gripping Steve's hand in their usual greeting.

"Mahalo." Steve whispered.

"Anything you need me to do, you just have to call." Kamekona insisted.

Steve nodded before a knock at the door sounded.

"I got it." Chin said, opening to reveal Max on the porch.

"Is Commander McGarrett here?" Max asked.

"Yeah, Max… come in." Steve called out as he dropped the box on the couch.

Max stepped in, nodding to everyone before resting his eyes on Steve. "Commander… my sincere condolences once again."

"Thanks." he whispered.

"I thought you might want to hear the results of the prelim report on Lt Rollins autopsy." Max continued.

Steve shuffled as he folded his arms across his chest.

"We'll wait outside." Chin nodded.

"No, it's ok." Steve shook his head. "It's fine. You should stay."

Danny looked over to Kamekona. "Except for you… your eggs are burning." He pointed to the kitchen.

Max reached out an envelope from his pocket, reaching out and offering it to Steve.

Steve pinched the document between his fingers and opened it up. He studied the information for a moment before nodding gently. "A brain aneurysm…" he said softly. "Shouldn't this have shown up in the scans?"

"I personally contacted the hospital in Ohio, had them send over the report and images. Neither showed any indication of weakening in the blood vessels. There was no way anyone could have predicted this kind of complication."

"Just tell me one thing, Max… when it happened… would it have been quick?" Steve asked.

"I spoke with Detective Williams earlier, he stated that Catherine had shown no signs of distress prior to her collapse… that suggests it would have been rapid in onset."

Steve nodded gently.

"The main report should be out tomorrow but we don't expect it to show anything that would change the COD." Max continued. "Lt Rollins body has now been released and you are free to start making arrangements." He said gently.

"Her parents will be handling that, but thanks Max." Steve nodded.

There was a silence that filled the room for a brief moment, Max instantaneously felt he was intruding. "If there is nothing else you need me for, I'll make my way back." he said as he turned and headed for the door.

Chin smiled with gratitude as he followed the ME to the door.

"Wait… Max…" Steve called as he pushed his hand into his pocket and produced the ring box. "There is one thing I need you to do for me." He whispered as he handed him the box. "I want her to have this."

Max frowned as he opened the box up and saw the glittering diamond ring inside, he looked at Steve with wide eyes. "Commander…"

"I would be nice if it was on her finger, but failing that it should be in her casket."

Chin glanced at Danny who frowned.

"This is something you should do…" Max stuttered nervously. "You can spend time with her at any point before the funeral."

"Yeah, no…" he whispered as he shook his head. "I don't think that's going to happen. That's why I'm asking you to do it."

"With all due respect, sir… it's not something I am comfortable with." Max continued. "It's a personal token between you and Lt Rollins… it should only come from you."

Steve closed his eyes with frustration.

"You know what?" Danny said as he stepped over. "How about Steve gives it some more thought and if he can't do it himself… I'll handle it." He nodded as he reached out for the box.

"I would appreciate that, Detective Williams." Max nodded.

"Ok?" Danny asked as he looked at Steve.

Steve hesitated for a moment until the disappointment subsided. He nodded.

"Ok." Danny thinned his lips. "Good."

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

Catherine's mother, Christine, held Steve in a strong embrace but he couldn't offer the same in return. A large part of his conscience told him that this wouldn't have been happening if it weren't for him. How could he offer her the support she needed when in his eyes it was him with Catherine's blood on his hands.

"How are you?" she asked him softly.

"I'm ok." He nodded as the broke their embrace.

The woman sighed as she looked around the empty room with tears in her eyes. Her sight locked on to a picture of Steve and Catherine on the beach. The smiles on their faces showed how happy they were. Her face creased as she walked over, a hybrid of emotions from sadness, sympathy to joy that Catherine had finally found 'the one'.

Steve found it tough to focus on Christine, the similarities between mother and daughter were uncanny. From looks to mannerisms.

"Tom's picking up Ryan from the airport. He got on a plane as soon as he could." She sighed. "He can't believe he's lost his sister."

Steve swallowed the lump that had formed in the back of his throat.

"Tom told me that you had called him last week… asked for his permission to marry Cath…" she smiled softly. "She left a message on my cell… we were still in the air…" she shook her head. "The excitement in her voice when she said she had something to tell me… it's a gift to me."

"She wanted to tell you herself… didn't think it should be in a message."

Christine nodded. "You were everything she ever wanted."

Steve's eyes floated down. "I can't do this…" he whispered as he shook his head.

"Do what?" she frowned.

"I can't stand here, pretending that I didn't play a part in what's happened." He shrugged with sorrow. "I should have insisted that she stay at the hospital… I shouldn't have been so quick to bring her home." He sighed. "If she'd stayed, she would have been in a better place when things went bad. I let her down, I let you down."

Christine deepened her frown, a horrified expression shrouded her face. "Is that what you honestly think?" she whispered. "That you're responsible for this?"

"In part, yes." He answered strongly. If there was anything he was sure about right now this was it.

Christine shook her head gently as she moved over to the couch, she sat down slowly and looked up at him. "I've worked in an ER for 27 years… I'm fully aware of the complications that arise from the kind of trauma Catherine was subjected too. I've also seen the preliminary report to the autopsy. Steve…" she said softly. "It wouldn't have made one bit of difference if she'd been hooked up to life support when it happened. This is a killer… the chances are that, even if they knew, they still wouldn't have been able to do anything in such a short space of time. It's just one of those things when there is nothing that could have been done… hospital or 20,000 feet in the air."

"I was supposed to protect her." Steve whispered.

Christine smiled somberly. "That was never your job… not with someone like Catherine."

His eyes drifted over to her.

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

Danny sat at the outdoor table in the yard, his arms resting on the surface and his chin resting down on them as he stared at the ring box in front of him. Chin frowned as he slumped back in the chair. "What?"

Danny looked up to him. "You think all that was normal?"

"All what?" Chin asked cautiously, but he knew damn well what Danny was referring too.

"He says he got a good nights sleep… I don't believe him for one second because he lies all the time and this would be no exception." He started. "He comes down this morning with a bunch of Cat's things… says it's the right time to do it… like it would be at the top of his to do list… then he hands Max a ring that is worth more than a years' worth of rent and tells him to leave with her and yet he shows little to no emotion." He shook his head. "Again, I'm not good at this whole grief thing, but…" he paused. "I see no difference in him now than when Catherine use to leave on deployment. Only he seems colder now."

Chin nodded.

"That's not normal is it?" Danny responded to Chin's clear agreement.

"Like I said last night, Danny… there is nothing normal about this."

"Yeah, add Steve to the mix and you got that for damn sure."

"Look at this from another angle. What do we know about Steve?" he asked.

"He's a lunatic." Danny mumbled.

Chin leant forward against the table. "His background." He paused. _"I persevere and thrive on adversity. My Nation expects me to be physically harder and mentally stronger than my enemies. If knocked down, I will get back up, every time."_

"What is that?" Danny frowned. "A verse from a Beatles song or something?"

"It's a line from the Navy Seal Creed… Steve's dad had it in a frame behind his desk when I worked with him."

"They have a Creed?"

"If knocked down, I will get back up, every time." Chin repeated. "They are trained to hold back emotions, feelings, pain… so that they can deal with the task at hand. Perhaps in Steve's mind, doing anything else but showing he's moving on is not an option, and showing weakness is not permitted."

"So the answer is 'no' it's not normal." Danny growled impatiently. "And we're supposed to just play along with this? Even though every fiber of my being says it's going to backfire?"

"If you have another suggestion on how we approach it then speak."

Danny sighed.

"What's going on?" Kono asked as she appeared from the side of the house and walked over to the table and chairs. She frowned at the ring box.

"Don't ask… it's a long and complicated story." Danny shook his head.

"Ok…" she nodded. "Hey, Danny… did Jillian Morris get hold of you?"

He frowned. "Jillian Morris?"

"She called the office today, said that she'd confirmed the flights for you and Grace."

Danny thinned his lips with disappointment. "Right…"

"That's right… you were taking Gracie to Florida when Steve got back."

"Yeah, like that can happen now."

Kono frowned. "You're not going to cancel it? She was so excited about her trip to Disneyworld."

"I'm not sure I'm in the best mood to be visiting the happiest place on earth right now." Danny added before closing his eyes with disappointment. "Grace… I haven't even told her about Catherine."

"She's going to be devastated." Kono whispered.

"Yeah." He checked his watch then stood up. "She'll be home from school soon, I should go tell her."

"Want back up?" Kono asked gently.

"No… it's ok. I got this." He nodded with appreciation.

She smiled sympathetically.

"I'll be back in a couple of hours." Danny nodded. "I am leaving Steve in your custody."

"We'll be here." Chin nodded.

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Danny walked back into Steve's house and looked around. Chin and Kono were nowhere to be seen. "Steve?" he called out.

"Yeah…" he said as he skipped down the stairs from the bedroom with more of Catherine's things in his hands and a fresh box on the coffee table.

"Kono and Chin gone to get something to eat?"

"No…" he said as he placed the items into the box. "I told them to go home."

"You did?" Danny raised his eyebrows. "Ok."

"Yeah, I'm good… so… you might as well go too."

"I see…" Danny nodded.

"Yeah but hey, thanks for hanging around. I really appreciate it." He said calmly.

Danny bit down on his lip for a moment. "You sure this is a good idea?"

"What's that, Danny?" Steve asked as he straightened and looked at his friend.

"Trying to prove yourself like this?" he replied. "Because you're not acting like someone who only just lost their fiancé less than twenty four hours ago."

"I didn't realize there was a specific way to act. How is that?" Steve asked bitterly.

"Like someone who only just lost their fiancé less than twenty four hours ago."

Steve didn't bother answering him as he grabbed the picture, that Christine had been looking at earlier, and placed it in the box.

Danny watched him with confusion. "So your plan is to just get rid of all traces of her, everything that says she was here, and you figure you can just carry on. It doesn't work like that, Steve."

"Why don't you just worry about your own life before you start on mine?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Danny asked as he pushed his hands in his pockets.

"You're hardly qualified to give me advice on this particular situation, now are you?"

"Oh so just because my wife didn't die you think I didn't grieve losing her? Losing what we had?"

"You didn't lose Rachel, Danny, you threw her away… and you're heading the same way with your daughter."

Danny glared at him with a bitterness he had never felt before.

"Chin told me you were thinking about cancelling the Florida vacation with Gracie."

"Actually it's already been cancelled." Danny nodded.

"Why would you do that Danny?" he growled angrily. "There has to be something wrong with you. It's just normal to you to let that kid down time and time again?"

Danny's eyes thinned with disgust.

"You're going to wake up one day and Grace will be gone." He hissed. "And it will be me putting up with the bitching."

"You know what… I'm done. Just call me if you need me." Danny said as he raised his hands.

"That's it Danny… walk away, just like you do with everything and everyone." Steve snapped as Danny headed for the door.

Danny turned back to him, he couldn't look at Steve because his anger was boarder line explosive. He could only look past his words because he knew where this attack was really coming from. "It's true… I considered cancelling the trip. I was going to broach the subject with Grace, see how she felt about the idea before I made any decisions."

Steve rolled his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

"But before I had a chance to even bring it up, Grace was the one who suggested that we pull the pin on the trip." He said snapped back.

Steve frowned. "Grace? Why? Why would she want that Danny?"

Danny thinned his lips bitterly. "Because my daughter is wise beyond her eleven years… she was so cut up about Catherine that I left her crying in her mother's arms but out of all of it she was mostly worried about you." He paused as he sighed. "She had this crazy idea in her head that Uncle Steve might actually need some support right now, and that I might actually be the one who could give him that."

Steve frowned with sadness.

"She wanted to cancel the trip because she thought it was more important for me to be here with you." He answered before coughing with disgust. "I don't know, Steve… I guess she just has this screwed up idea on what friendship is about."

McGarrett leant down on the back of the couch.

Danny inhaled a deep breath, he knew where he was about to take this conversation could come across as confronting for Steve and he had no idea how he would react. "Listen… I know you're hurting… you're doing your best to hide it… act like everything is ok… but I know how I'm feeling about losing Catherine, and I know how my daughter is feeling. I just know it's not possible for you not to be going through the same but times a hundred."

He glared at the ground, his eyes glistening with tears.

"Chin keeps telling me to be patient… that you'll open up when you're ready… but I don't think you will… you'll put all this in that little box in your mind because that's what you're programmed to do. You'll let it fester away in there until it breaks you, and this will break you… and I'm not prepared to watch that happen." He paused. "I don't expect you to pour your heart out to me… but I just wanted to remind you that your CO isn't here. That showing emotion is not a weakness… no one is going to judge you for showing cracks. Its human nature, and it's what you expect with grief."

Steve sat motionless.

Danny sighed as he looked around. "Anyway… that's all I have to say… you can take it or leave it. At this point in time I don't really care." He lied, but he wanted to hurt Steve the way he'd hurt him with his words. "I'll drop by in the morning… see how you're doing. You have a good night." He nodded.

He waited until Danny had walked out of the door and the sound of his car engine roared to life before he winced with sadness. He struggled to keep the emotions back but they were simmering inside to boiling point. He walked over to the couch, slumping down into it. He clasped his hands over his nose and mouth, rubbing his eyes with his fingers before pressing them against the tear ducts in his eyes. His face creased with sadness as he started to gently sob.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Steve poured the remnants of a whisky bottle out into his glass that sat on the coffee table. His eyes were bloodshot, his skin clammy and his hand shaking as he reached over to cup the glass in his hand and tip the liquid into his mouth with one swoop. The liquor didn't have the burn it had 9 glasses ago. Now his mouth was just as numb as his body.

He leant forward, against his knees and lowered his head, it was close to 4am and although he felt exhausted he was tormented by the vision of Catherine's lifeless body every time he closed his eyes. His breathing accelerated with anxiety, an emotion he wasn't all that familiar with. The 'what if's' playing over and over in his mind like a bad movie on repeat.

Danny was right, he wasn't coping and he knew it, but even after all the heartache he'd been through before now, to open up to anyone was not something he literally knew how to do. It wasn't about pride, it wasn't about integrity, it was simply that he'd never been awarded the opportunity or encouraged to express feelings of weakness. He'd never learnt how to convey such emotions but more to the point how to handle them. Perhaps that's what had made him so suited to his job?

His eyes scanned the room, resting on a picture of Catherine from her leaving ceremony. He was irrationally upset that he'd missed packing the image away with everything else, and the sight of her face felt like he was being repeatedly stabbed in the heart, the pain immense. A wave of anger hit him like a freight train again, they came in bursts every couple of hours but they blindsided him and he couldn't control them. He creased his face, gritting his teeth together as he launched the glass across the room in the pictures direction but his aim was off. The glass smashed into small pieces, raining down onto the floor. He felt momentarily relieved by the sound, the literal shattering of the silence provided him an inexplicable satisfaction, but then the silence returned.

He grabbed the empty bottle, throwing that against the wall above the rows of pictures and as his fury grew he stood up, walking over and sweeping the frames from the side with his arm.

Danny walked casually into the Five-0 head office prompting Chin and Kono to look up from their desks.

"What's up?" Chin said as he walked out of his office. "How's Steve?"

"You tell me."

Kono appeared, frowning as she walked over. "He kicked you out too?"

"Not only kicked me out but he left me with a parting tirade of abuse." Danny folded his arms over his chest as they congregated at the visual display.

Chin raised his eyebrows as he looked at Kono.

"No, see I know what you are thinking. I poked the bear… but I didn't. He went for me." Danny insisted.

"Well anger is one step in the grief process… I suppose we should be relieved about that." Chin nodded.

"Really? Is being an arrogant jerk a step in that list too?" Danny shrugged.

"So you left him?" Kono asked.

Danny nodded. "Told him I'd go over this morning… check on him."

"And did you?" Chin asked.

"I went over… knocked on the door for about ten minutes and then gave up. He's moved the spare key and locked the doors too."

"So you didn't actually set eyes on him." Kono straightened with concern. "Something could be wrong."

"Let me tell you something, Steve is no light foot… him and his commando boots make a hell of a lot of noise when he walks around inside that old house. I could hear him… he was fine."

"Ok, well Cath's mom called before. The funeral is set for the day after tomorrow." Kono started.

"So quick?" Danny replied.

"At this stage the ceremony is not going to be conducted by the Navy." She shook her head.

"Steve know about that?" Danny asked.

"I don't know… she was still trying to get in contact with him when she called here." Kono shrugged.

"Oh, by the way… thank you for ratting me out to Steve about the vacation." Danny said as he turned to Chin. "If you were trying to use me as a sacrificial lamb in order to distract him… it worked. Just next time I wouldn't mind a heads up in that particular circumstance."

"I just thought he should he might want a say." Chin answered.

"Trust me, he had his say." Danny nodded.

Steve burst through the doors and into his office, grabbing his vest and walking back out. "We got a job."

Danny frowned, his mouth parted. "No… we don't."

"The governor called, me direct. Asked for us to look into an overdose case."

"An overdose case?" Danny frowned. "Since when do we do that?"

"This is a personal request by the Governor." He nodded before tapping on the screen and sweeping the information up to the monitors. "Ella Jackson, 19 years old…" he said as he brought up the picture of her lifeless body.

"You went to a scene without me?" Danny hissed.

"Like I said, this was a personal request." Steve nodded. "Pay attention."

Danny shook his head.

"Ella's the daughter of Brendon Jackson, CEO of US Global Logistics." Steve continued as he displayed the information.

"I read about this guy in Time Magazine… he started from nothing and built a multimillion dollar empire in less than ten years." Chin nodded.

"He was also one of the main contributors to the Governors campaign and he's leaning on the governor to track down whoever sold the drugs to his daughter." Steve nodded. "Ella was here studying law at University of Hawaii. She was living with a friend off campus, Marie Frances. She's the one who found Ella's body this morning. She's on her way in for a chat."

"You know, if you're missing being in a crime scene you could just go to my apartment… it looks like it's been ransacked. It's screaming for an OCD military type to do bagging and tagging whilst cleaning it within an inch of its life." Danny nodded.

"What do you need us to do?" Kono asked.

"The last call she made was to this cell number." Steve said as he produced a bit of paper. "I want you to try and get an ID, run them through the system… it could be the dealer."

"Ok." She nodded.

Steve's cell sounded the alert for a message. He glanced at the screen. "Danny, come with me."

"Oh, you sure? It sounds like you've got all of this covered. You don't need my help."

"Now." Steve said threateningly.

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The pair sat down in a small vacant office in a different part of the building. A young and nervous looking woman sat before them, trembling with shock as she dabbed her eyes.

"Marie… were you aware that Ella was taking drugs?" Steve asked softly.

The young woman closed her eyes before sighing. "When I first met Ella, she was as innocent and as clean cut as you could get. She didn't smoke, she didn't drink, she didn't even go over time with her library books." Marie smiled softly. "She was introduced to pot a couple of months after she started at the university… it didn't bother me… most of the students were smoking it, including me. I only started to fight with her when she started experimenting with the party drugs…"

"She died of a Heroin overdose…" Danny nodded as he leant against the desk. "Did you know she'd graduated to that?"

"I found out at the beginning of last week…" he nodded. "She'd had a massive fight with her father… it was all to do with a guy she was dating, Navi… Daddy wasn't too pleased she was seeing a Muslim." Marie nodded. "He threatened to cut her off, said that she had to choose one or the other."

Steve listened quietly.

"Ella suffered from some serious depression. I don't think she'd ever been properly diagnosed but I truly do believe she was bipolar." Marie continued. "She said that she'd talked to some kid at the Uni about how she felt trapped all the time. That she just wanted to know what it felt like to feel at peace." She lowered her head. "He told her he could hook her up with something that would do that."

"Heroin." Danny sighed.

Marie nodded gently.

"How long had she been taking it?" Danny pushed.

"She said she'd only been using about two weeks before I found out. I caught her high in her room… lying on the bed with the tourniquet around her arm." Marie's eyes glistened. "She looked like she'd found her peace… but then the suffering came back and she craved it even more." She paused. "She was just pushing the envelope more each time for that longer high. I couldn't bear to see her do it any more… so I told her, two days ago, that I was going to move out if she wasn't going to give up."

Steve's eyes held on Marie.

"She said she couldn't, even if she wanted too." Marie paused. "So I packed a bag and I went to my boyfriend's house… I was only going back this morning to grab some more clothes…" she winced with sadness. "That's when I found her."

Danny turned to Steve who now seemed focused on the table. "Feel free to chime in at any time. You got any questions?"

"Did Ella ever mention names? The guy that hooked her up? She say any names you didn't recognize, anyone that could be the dealer?" Steve said softly.

Marie shook her head with frustration. "I've been trying to think back all morning. There was only one name I heard… she used it when she was on the phone the night I left."

"What was it?" Danny asked.

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

"Anton Morley…" Kono said as the picture popped up on the screens. "One of Jason Decker's crew."

"Decker?" Danny scoffed. "The guns dealer who had a multi-story building drop on us?"

"Yeah, only Morley is branching out in his boss's absence… along with the guns trafficking he's been flagged for drug dealing." Chin continued. "Though he's never been arrested."

"Nice. Love to know how that kind of deal goes down. Here's your submachine gun, your side order of a handgun and would you like Coke with that?" Danny nodded.

Kono smirked.

"So he's just been flagged, not arrested for possession or dealing?" Danny asked.

"Every time the guy gets pulled in he's clean." Kono added. "Duke said he's either lucky or extremely clever." She thinned her lips. "He didn't think it was the latter."

"What do you want to do?" Danny asked Steve.

He paused for thought. "Have HPD meet us at his address."

"Or you could just send HPD round to deal with this scum bag. They search the house, bring him in for questioning." Danny shrugged.

"I'm going, you coming?" Steve growled impatiently as he started to walk.

"I think it's so cute that you ask me that like I have a choice. The reality is that our public liability insurance is only valid if I'm babysitting your ass." Danny sighed as he followed Steve out the door.

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

Danny sat in the passenger seat of his car as Steve started the engine. He glanced over. "Question." He said raising his index finger.

Steve closed his eyes for a moment and inhaled a disapproving breath.

"Have you been drinking?"

"What?" Steve creased his face with disgust.

"I can smell it, on your breath." Danny nodded.

Steve paused. "I had a couple of drinks last night. Problem?"

"No, no problem at all, other than you smell like you've spent the night in the bottom of a whisky bottle and you're just about to drive my car on a road lined with people."

Steve gritted his teeth before opening the door and walking around to the passenger side. He opened Danny's door and stood there, waiting.

"That was easier than I'd anticipated." Danny said as he hopped out and around the front to the driver's side.

"You made your point, Danny. Now would you just shut up and drive." Steve growled.

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

The pair stood in a living room with the suspect handcuffed on the couch.

"You know this girl? Anton?" Steve asked as he held his phone out with Ella's face on the screen.

Anton glanced up before looking away with nervousness.

"I think you do…" Steve nodded. "I think you sold her some heroin…"

"You can believe what you want… you still have to prove it." Anton snarled.

"What are we going to find if we search this house, Anton?" Danny asked.

"Guns?" Steve asked as he checked out the man's identification. "Drugs?"

"I want my lawyer." The man mumbled angrily.

"Sure… you look like the kind of guy that would have one on speed dial. You want me to call him?" Danny nodded.

"You got a warrant?" Anton hissed.

"Damn, I knew there was something we forgot." Danny raised his hand to his head mockingly.

"Then you can't search my property. It's against my constitutional rights." The man replied.

"Wrong." Steve growled as he unclipped his badge, leaning down he smacked it against the man's chest. "This badge, and the power invested in me, overrides your constitutional rights." He stood up straight again. "Watch him… if he moves… shoot him." He said as he glanced at one of the four police officers. "I need the rest of you to start searching." He instructed before heading down the hall.

"I'll take the kitchen." Danny nodded, not that Steve cared one little bit.

Steve walked into the bedroom, he knew it wouldn't be hard. There was a mattress on the floor and some draws but other than that it was pretty bare. He lifted up the mattress to find nothing underneath, pushing it upright against the wall. He walked over to the draws, starting at the top and going to each one he pulled out the contents all over the floor. He sighed as he scanned the room, finally noticing a small tear in the mattress.

"Nothing in the bathroom or the second bedroom." Two officers announced to Danny as they appeared in the kitchen.

"No, not many hiding places here either." Danny shook his head as he dropped a stack of pans nosily on the floor. "Not the cooking type, Anton?" he said, walking towards the man. "I get that…"

"I'm clear." Steve said as he walked back out.

"Nothing?" Danny frowned.

"I thought I had something but it was clean." Steve's eyes caught Morley's. "Nothing." He said as he glared at the man.

Morley struggled as the ties were cut from his wrists, wrapping his fingers around the bruised skin one by one. "You done now?"

"For now, yeah…" Steve nodded. "But don't get too comfortable."

"Whatever, man… just get out of my house." The man growled.

"Thanks for having us… it's been great." Steve grinned as he glared at Morley.

As Steve, Danny and the HPD officers stepped down the wooden steps onto the grass outside they converged.

"What do we do now?" Danny asked. "I mean, isn't the governor expecting you to have this all tied up by the end of the day?"

"We didn't find anything Danny, there's not a whole lot I can do about that." Steve shrugged.

"So would it be worth swabbing down the surfaces in the house… checking for residue?" Danny asked.

"If I thought it would help or give us any more information then yeah." Steve nodded. "But it's just going to confirm what we know already, he's linked to drugs. There is no doubt in my mind he's a dealer… but residue isn't going to give us enough to book him. He knows we're on to him… that's when people like that make mistakes because they get paranoid."

Danny sighed, usually Steve would be chomping at the bit to get this all squared.

"Duke, you mind if one of your guys gives me a ride back to my house?" Steve asked as he removed his gloves.

"Sure." The old officer nodded.

"Wait? What?" Danny frowned.

"I gotta go do a couple of things."

"Like what?"

Steve rolled his eyes impatiently. "My things are still up the mountains… I left them there the day you came to pick me up. I want to go get them."

"Now?" Danny scoffed.

"Yes, now. Why not now?"

"Because the sun sets in a couple of hours. It's more like a day trip don't you think?"

"I know my way around out there. Doesn't make a difference if it's daylight or not." Steve replied.

"I can get someone to go up there to pick them up. You got more important things you should be focusing on right now."

"Maybe I don't want to 'focus' on anything else, Danny." Steve snapped.

"I still have the ring… just… saying." Danny nodded.

Steve drew back a deep breath and exhaled loudly.

"You don't think you should face up to doing something with that?"

"I told you I didn't want to."

"Right… but see it looks to me like you're trying to take the easy way out… and that worries me… because you have never done that." Danny pushed.

"What do you want from me?" Steve growled loudly before looking around cautiously. "I don't want to see Catherine… Danny… I don't want to see her because nothing good can come out of it." 

"Some kind of closure could come out of it." Danny replied.

"I don't believe that."

"Ok…" he nodded. "Then what if I told you that I'm not going to take it in. I know I said I would, but you want Catherine to have it then you got to take it in. I'll come with, but I'm not doing this for you." 

"Danny." He gritted his teeth. "I don't know if you've noticed, the hints may have been subtle, but I'm not in the mood to be played right now."

"No playing… just the gods honest truth." He glared at Steve, refusing to back down. "Does it matter to you that she has the ring?"

"Of course it matters to me." Steve winced with disgust.

"Then that should be enough for you to put your big boys panties on and suck it up." He continued, deep down he was sorry he had to be so tough but he had to show tough love. Danny's features softened. "The funeral is in two days… tomorrow might be your last chance. I'll pick you up at 11."

Steve looked away with frustration.

"I'm calling Chin now, he'll have your things picked up." Danny said as he raised his phone to his ear. "Go home… take a shower, get some sleep." He said as he got into his car.

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Steve splashed cold water over his face, rubbing his hands down his cheek bones before he leant against the wash basin in his bath room. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and was horrified to see how worn his features were. He grabbed the hand towel, patting down the droplets that had formed on his skin before throwing it on the side.

As he walked out into the living room his attention was directed into the kitchen at a large paper bag which had been molded around its contents, outlining a bottle. He sighed as he looked down, hesitating for a moment before pushing his hand into the pocket of his jacket. He froze when he felt an item in his hand within, briefly considering the repercussions of what he was entertaining. It would take more thought, perhaps at the end of the bottle he might be more willing. He slowly pulled his hand out of the pocket, gripping tightly onto a palm sized bag of white powder.

His thoughts shot back to when he noticed the tear in the mattress at Morley's, walking over and checking it out, he'd immediately identified a stash of hidden inside. With Marie's words in his head, about Ella believing she could find peace when she was high, he had succumbed to a moment of weakness and stupidity.

In his defense, in his mind it was curiosity and almost a necessity at the time. He could relate to the young girl's desire to stop the pain for just a little while. He hadn't known peace since the morning his mother had gotten in her car and disappeared. He'd struggled with demons every single moment since then, including his father's death, and the events of the past couple of days had seemingly tipped him over the edge. He just knew he was at the point where he couldn't absorb any more.

He'd looked around at the bedroom, to make sure none of the officers had seen, and taken one of the bags out. He pushed it into his pocket before laying the mattress down on the floor again and walking back out to the living room.

He swallowed the lump in his throat as he replayed the look on Anton's face. Morley knew damn well that his stash would have been found and his eyes had thinned like he knew Steve had done something, but they both knew nothing could have been said.

Steve snapped back to the here and now, walking into the kitchen and opening a cupboard door, hiding the bag behind some cups before retrieving a glass and grabbing hold of the bottle.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

It was a little after 10am when Danny arrived at the house, he knew he'd told Steve he'd pick him up later but he decided to allow time to reason with Steve if he had to. He extended his hand and clumped it into a fist as he knocked on the door. He was somewhat shocked when the door unlatched itself with the force, opening only slightly. "Steve…" Danny called out before setting eyes on a couple of items that had been carelessly tossed on the floor. He frowned. "Steve?" he called out again, though this time a definite undertone of concern in his voice.

Danny stepped carefully inside, his hand hovering over his holstered weapon, inching his way around the room as he scoped his surroundings. As he worked his way toward the kitchen he glanced back, noticing Steve curled up on the couch and sound asleep. He sighed with relief "Steve…" he said again as he walked over and shook him on the shoulder. "Come on…"

Steve opened his eyes, wincing as the light infiltrated his head and sent waves of dull pain with it.

Danny stood with his hands on his hips as he looked around, glass all over the floor along with damaged furniture and picture frames. A number of bottles were lined up on the table and the television flickered silently. "You have some kind of party you didn't invite me to?" he asked.

Steve sat up slowly, raising his hand over his eyes and struggling to keep what little he had in his stomach down.

"This whole drowning your sorrows seems to be an alarming habit, no?"

"Danny…" he growled lightly, he didn't want to hear it.

"Have you eaten? Like I mean really eaten normal food in the past couple of days?"

Steve sighed.

"I'll take that as a no." Danny nodded with disappointment. "How much sleep did you get?"

"I don't know…" he shook his head. "I remember the sun coming up…"

"So a couple of hours at the most." He picked up an empty bottle of whisky. "This is your idea of fatigue management? Drinking yourself to a point of passing out?"

"I already have a mother, Danny." Steve said softly as he nodded gently.

"That's debatable." Danny answered. "And not the kind you need."

Steve rested his head back, closing his eyes and exhaling.

Danny thinned his lips, noticing the picture of Catherine smashed on the floor. He picked it up before walking over to the coffee table and perching himself down. He removed some of the shattered glass away from the print before looking up at him.

Steve had watched how gentle and respectful he had been with the picture that it left him with disappointment in himself. He raised his eyes to Danny's sympathetic features.

"She looked so happy that day." Danny nodded as he recalled. "And you, I don't think I have ever seen you so proud or so well dressed."

Steve offered a faint smile but it quickly faded.

"I can understand how drinking yourself stupid might seem like a way to deal with all the sadness your feeling…"

"That's just it. I don't feel sadness. I don't feel like I've just lost one of the only things that mattered to me on this earth. I don't feel anything like that." Steve snapped.

Danny frowned and shrugged. "I don't understand."

"I only feel anger…" he growled. "And hate…"

"I…" Danny continued with a confused look on his face.

"You want to know why I got rid of her things so quick? Why that picture is smashed? You were right when you said it was like I was erasing her from this place… I was." he said with resentment in his voice. "Because I feel nothing more than hate toward her. Her, my mom, my dad… they all left."

Danny was taken aback by the revelation. It was a perspective he'd never seen coming.

"She left the Navy, she agreed to go to the mainland… and she chose to be on that base… she made those choices and those decisions took her life."

"Catherine couldn't have known it would lead to this."

"I know…" Steve nodded with a look filled with bewilderment. "But it doesn't change the fact that even though I understand this could never have been prevented, that this was all just a tragic set of circumstances, I can't stop this feeling of bitterness."

Danny's eyes widened as he struggled to watch Steve rationalize everything. How he'd worked himself up so silently trying to comprehend his emotions. Danny didn't doubt for one second that Steve didn't feel sadness, it was just anger was the one he knew the best, the one that didn't scare him and so he had subconsciously chose to let that feeling dominate. He was certain that in the right setting, under the right circumstances, Steve's emotions would be taken over and he was also sure that going to see Catherine would provoke them. He just had to convince him.

"Look… I don't know what you're going through. I'm not even going to pretend I can imagine. But you trust me right?"

"You really need to ask that?" Steve replied.

"Ok… so… I honestly believe that you need to do this." He paused. "Just come with me…" He nodded.

Steve turned his head away from Danny. Frustrated he didn't seem to be listening.

"You obviously feel something more than anger because it's so important to you that she gets the ring, right?" Danny asked.

Steve sighed, he couldn't deny there was that.

"So let's just give this a go… and if you end up not being able to do it… then I'll make sure she gets the ring… but right now all you're doing is torturing yourself." He nodded. "And since that's usually my job." He shrugged before leaning forward and smiling thinly. "We got to do something Steve… because this…" he said as he nodded toward a bottle. "This isn't helping."

"Ok…" Steve whispered after careful consideration.

"Ok…" Danny repeated as he patted his friend gently on the knee. "Let's get you some coffee."

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Steve stood in the corridor of the morgue, staring at the door with a fear inside of him he'd never felt before. He clutched the ring box in his right hand as his heart beat accelerated. How would he react when he was inside? Did he want to know? Perhaps deep inside he didn't want to say goodbye. Perhaps he didn't want the closure that Danny had been talking about.

Danny had been speaking softly into his cell before hanging up and stepping over and standing beside Steve. "You ok?"

Steve didn't want to answer. "Was that work?"

"Yeah, Kono…"

"What did she say?"

Danny shook his head. "Nothing you need to worry about."

"Humor me." Steve replied.

"She just called to say that Brendon Jackson just ponied up a $500,000 reward for finding the person who sold Ella the drugs."

Steve nodded somberly.

"Yeah… I'm guessing it's just as frowned upon here, as it is in Jersey, for cops to take reward money if we find him."

"You'd be guessing right." Steve whispered.

"I wouldn't be greedy. I'd give you some… drop you $5000…"

The door opened and Max appeared with a subdued expression.

Steve tightened his jaw and shuffled on his feet.

"Ready?" Max asked softly.

Danny looked up at Steve as he stood back, it had been anyone's guess as to what his friend would actually do in this moment.

"Danny…" Steve said softly, almost as if the breath had been taken from his lungs. "Would you come in with me?"

He was taken aback for a moment. Struggling to find the words whilst dealing with his own surprise. "Steve you don't even have to ask… I'm right with you. With you all the way."

Steve didn't look at him, just nodded gently before following Max through the doorway and into the first room.

"Commander… you can have as much time as you want." Max nodded. "As much time as you need."

Steve remained silent as he saw her body lying on the table through the glass and in the next room.

"Thanks Max…" Danny nodded. "Steve…" he said, touching him on the arm. "Come on buddy, let's go."

Steve stepped forward slowly, through the second door as Danny held back out of respect just inside the room. As Steve drew closer he could see her perfect features highlighted by the bright lights above. His eyes widened as they filled with tears, he willed them to stay away but he knew his attempts would be ineffective.

He noticed the stool placed next to her side, a thoughtful touch by Max that wasn't usually offered to others. At first he didn't think he would need it, but now standing here he felt his knees weaken and a desire to stay.

He sat down slowly, wheeling himself as close to the table as he could. His hand carefully creeping toward hers but bracing himself for the coldness of her skin. "Hey…" he whispered as he studied her peaceful expression, much softer than when he'd last seen her, like all her pain had gone.

Danny watched his friend struggle with his emotions, but not a hint of anger could be found of which he was relieved. His heart silently broke, Steve looked completely shattered and childlike. Filled with fear and trepidation, but he had no doubt now that this had been a positive step.

"So, I told you I bought you a fancy ring… and you probably didn't believe me… but Danny can testify…" he started, he thought it would feel odd to talk to her but in fact it was somewhat soothing. "Three weeks ago, when we you made me walk around looking for that dress you wanted to wear for the Governors ball… you stopped at a window at that jewelry store on Kalakaua Avenue. You remember you saw this ring… you were so drawn to it, I'd never seen you like that with anything, I knew it was special." He paused before opening the box, pinching the ring between his fingers and wincing with sadness. He closed his eyes for a moment, composing himself just enough to finish what he'd started with the respect he wanted. He pushed the ring onto her finger, slightly big for her but otherwise it looked like it had been meant for her.

Max stepped away from the window, bowing his head.

He brushed her hair with his fingers gently, like he'd done so many times before. "I'm sorry… I'm so so sorry…" he whispered. "I let you down. I told you that you would never have to do anything alone, ever again… and I left you alone…" he whispered. "I left you here, alone." Steve's face creased as the tears started to flow freely and quiet gasps of air escaped.

Danny's eyes drifted down, welling with tears as he watched the heartbreaking conversation. He was now convinced that in Steve's mind it was only Catherine and he in the room and Danny felt like it was time to make that happen. He stepped towards the door, turning back to see Steve curled over, with his hand on hers and crying. He nodded softly before stepping out.

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Steve walked through the door of his house, followed by Danny, to find the carnage had been cleared up and Joe and Mary standing there. Mary winced with sadness as she flung her arms around him, hugging him tightly as he remained unmoved and distant. "I'm so sorry, Steve." She whispered before kissing him on the cheek.

Joe stepped over when Mary pulled away. "I don't even know what to say." He shook his head.

"I just… need some time…" Steve whispered softly, bowing his head as he walked over to the stairs and climbed them out of sight.

"It's been a rough day." Danny nodded.

"You got him to see her?" Joe asked.

"Yeah…" he replied and shrugged. "Don't know how I did it…"

"You have more influence over him than you think." Joe raised his eyebrows.

"You're very kind, Joe… but you are also very delusional." Danny smirked softly. "So, what are you guys doing?"

"Well I was going to stay here tonight but judging by what he's been getting up to I'm not sure that's such a good idea. What the hell Danny?" Mary shrugged.

"Ok, so I know it looked bad, I totally get where you're coming from but I think he could use having someone around and I think you would help to distract him."

"If you're worried about being alone with him right now then I'm happy to stay here too." Joe nodded. "Providing Steve's ok with that."

"You bought the baby, right?" Danny asked.

"Yeah, she's sleeping in my room."

"Well that should cheer him up." Danny nodded.

"What time is the service tomorrow?" Joe asked.

"Three PM… we organized a couple of cars to pick us up. Kono, Chin and I will be here in the morning."

"Copy that." Joe nodded.

"Listen… I've still got a few things to catch up on at work so I'm going to have to go… you call me if you need me… and same goes for Steve." Danny nodded.

"Yeah…" Mary whispered as she followed Danny back to the door.

Danny turned back to see her worried expression. "Don't look so worried… he's your brother."

"Yeah, I know Danny…" she closed her eyes and sighed. "I don't know, walking in here this afternoon just freaked me out… all our lives we've gone through everything bad together. We lost mom, then dad… we were the only ones in the world who understood the feelings because we'd both lost the same thing." She paused. "This changes everything… this sets us apart… and I'm not sure how to help him."

He smiled sympathetically. "I got it. Listen, I'm usually the weaker one out of the two of us… something upsets me I go crazy, Steve pulls me out of it. Every single time. Now I'm having to learn how to be the strong one… it's not easy." He nodded. "Give him some time… be patient… let him initiate conversation about Catherine… do all that and you'll be on you'll be fine."

Mary thinned her lips into a slight smile. "I'm glad he has you, Danny." She nodded.

"Yeah, well, he's pretty important to me too so take care of him, ok?"

"Sure…" she nodded, her smile broadened.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Night." Mary nodded.

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"Danny…" Chin said after knocking on his office door and putting his head through. "Looks like Jackson's reward has provided a lead."

"Tell me more…" Danny said as he stood up and followed Chin out into the main area.

"Markus Alvez…" Chin said as he swiped a picture up onto the monitor. "Now he's got a wrap sheet longer than your arm, he's done time but he's been off the radar since Decker was sent down. He told HPD that Morley is trying to move in on Decker's business and there's a lot of people not happy with that, including him."

"So… this guy gives us information and takes off with $500,000."

"No… he's a convicted felon on parole. I'm fairly certain the state wouldn't allow it."

"Does he know that?"

Chin smiled. "Yeah, I did mention it… but for whatever reason he still wants to cooperate."

Danny frowned with surprise as he folded his arms over his chest. "Huh… Who knew? A criminal with a moral compass."

"He should be here any minute." Chin nodded. "Do I call Steve?"

"No… we can handle it." Danny shook his head.

"How did this morning go?"

Danny sighed. "It's a long story… but I hope it went ok."

Chin smiled with sympathy, he could see a lot had been taken out of Danny too.

"Lt Kelly…" An officer said as he stood at the door. "Markus Alvez…" he announced as a young guy walked in.

"Thanks… come with me." He said as he grabbed his arm gently and guided him towards his office.

Danny's cell started to chime. "Hey, it's Mary, I got to take this…"

"Sure…" Chin nodded.

"Hey, what's happening?" Danny answered.

"He's kicked us out." Mary said frantically.

"Wait, what?" Danny frowned.

"He lost it Danny… he completely lost it."

"Did he hurt you?"

"What? No…" she answered without hesitation. "He just yelled… a lot."

"Some would argue he's back to normal." Danny muttered. "What did you say to him? You must have said something."

"No… everything was fine, I was cooking dinner… Joe and Steve were sitting on the counter in the kitchen, drinking beer… I went to go get something from the cupboard and when I turned around again he'd just snapped." She shook her head. "Danny, I've never seen him like that before."

Danny thinned his lips with frustration as he watched Chin through the glass with Alvez.

"He told Joe and I to get out… all but pushed us through the door." She continued.

"Where are you now?"

"A motel… Joe says he's going to go back and sit outside the house because he's so worried about him."

"Ok, listen to me… I have to interview someone right now, but tell Joe I'll meet him at Steve's in an hour… we'll go in together."

"Ok…" Mary nodded.

Danny sighed as he pressed the end button on his phone and pushing it in his pocket. He contemplated sorting Steve out first and making Alvez wait but the guy wasn't under arrest so could leave at any time. Danny didn't want to take the chance of losing the lead. He walked into the office and stood behind Chin's desk.

"So tell us how you know Morley." Chin started.

"Same crew." Alvez replied.

"Decker's crew?" Danny nodded.

Alvez nodded. "He'd only been in a couple of months when Jason got pulled in… but he was one of those people who pushed to be noticed and had all the answers to everything."

"I know that kind." Danny nodded. "Go ahead."

"Me and a couple of the boys had talked about who would move in on Jason's turf if he went away… and everyone said it would be Morley. We were right."

"Explain something… turning Morley in must be a risk for you and Decker… investigating him could uncover all kinds of other things that Jason and your 'crew' were involved in." Chin frowned. "Why would you do it?"

"More to the point, why would they give you permission to do it?"

Alvez smiled. "No one gave me permission, brah… I've come here of my own free will…" he paused. "I'm clean… I've done my time… I have nothing left to hide, whatever you find against Jason isn't my problem." He nodded. "My girlfriend is having our first kid next month… I spent four months in jail contemplating what kind of life I'd be giving our son if I kept rolling with him. I wanted out. When I told him, he wasn't very happy with the idea. Said I had to buy my way out…"

"What did he mean by that?" Chin frowned.

"A set number of deals I had to complete before he said he would releases me… otherwise he would make things difficult." He shook his head. "Anyway, then Jason got sent down, and I thought I was free for a couple of years at least."

"But then Morley took over." Danny nodded.

"No one wanted to keep Jason's business going… except for Morley… and if it's not kept going then he won't have anything to come out to and he won't need us."

"What makes you so sure that Morley would hand it back to Decker when he got out?"

"Because Jason is not someone you want to screw with." He nodded. "One way or another he would take back control."

"Ok, so how do you know that he sold Ella the drugs?" Chin asked.

"He came to my brother's house about a week ago… real pleased with himself. Said he had a good thing going, that he had this rich kid buying from him, that she was so clueless that she was already paying three times more than the going rate…"

"How do you know the girl was Ella Jackson?" Danny shrugged.

"Because he was with her when she took it the first time… and he filmed her on his cell along with taking some stills of her ID." He nodded. "He knew she was from money, and he figured he could eventually use it to bribe more cash out of her."

"Nice." Danny nodded. "You've seen the video?" he asked.

"With my own eyes." Alvez nodded.

"The thing is, he could have gotten rid of it by now. He might have been spooked when you guys visited him." Chin raised his eyebrows and glanced at Danny.

"Wait, you were the guys that turned up to search his house?" Alvez smirked.

"Yeah, what of it?" Danny shrugged.

"Oh man…" he shook his head. "Morley got it in for you guys… he was talking smack last night about how some cops searched his place and took some of his stash…"

Danny laughed. "Right, because we haven't heard that accusation before."

"No, man… I'm being straight. That kind of thing you don't want to tell… Police getting one up on you. But Morley's pride was dented and he was pissed off."

Danny frowned. "Did he say if the cop was in uniform?"

The man shook his head as he thought. "Only that he'd been throwing his badge around, saying that he had the authority to do anything he wanted."

Danny's eyes widened.

"You know who it is… you better tell your boy Morley isn't happy."

"Danny?" Chin said softly as he looked up to him.

"Get HPD to bring Morley in… and call Joe… tell him to head to Steve's right now." He said as he ran out the door.

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Danny revved the engine to his car as he sped down the streets towards Steve's. He pressed his cell phone to his ear over and over as the phone he was trying to ring seemed to sound out. His heart was in his mouth. The adrenalin pumping through his body as he worked through every scenario in his mind.

As he reached the outside of the house he had the door open before the car had come to a complete halt. Joe's truck rolled up seconds later.

"Danny, what's going on?" he asked as he jumped out.

"Stick with me." Danny nodded, throwing Joe a gun as he pulled out his own weapon out and bounced up the steps prompting Joe to leap into action. They arrived at the door, noticing it was open slightly. The pair entered the darkened property, training their guns on the surroundings. The light from the barrels cutting through the air like a knife. "We need to find Steve…" Danny whispered.

"I'll go upstairs." Joe nodded before he disappeared.

Danny searched every room of the downstairs and ended up in the kitchen before he heard Joe call out "Clear."

"Yeah me too." He sighed as he pushed his weapon back in his holster and looked around the kitchen for any kind of clues.

"Want to tell me what's going on?" Joe asked.

Danny shook his head. "Probably nothing…" he said before he looked down and noticed a spoon in the sink that looked as if it was blackened on the bottom. He frowned. Scanning the room again before looking out of the windows to a small table on the deck.

"Danny?" Joe frowned as he noticed his sudden alertness.

Danny ignored him, stepping through the back door and down onto the timber floor. A bottle of whisky, half drunk, and a syringe. His eyes widened. "Steve…" he said as his voice filled with concern looking around for any signs of his friend.

"Danny… what the hell is going on?" Joe asked as he stepped down and noticed the items.

"Steve!" He called out, scanning the dimly lit garden from the deck. His breath almost gone with the anxiety that filled him. He walked over to the steps then something caught his eye at the bottom, heaped on the ground. "No…" he yelled. "Steve… Steven!" he shouted as he jumped down the steps and onto the grass, sliding onto his knees in one swoop.

Joe's stepped forward, shocked by Danny's discovery.

"Joe… call the paramedics!" Danny shouted.

The old man grabbed his phone without hesitation and dialed 911.

"Steve…" Danny said as he studied his friend, his eyes misting with tears. "Come on buddy…" he said as he turned him gently onto his back, his body limp and his skin so white it was almost translucent in the darkness. His skin was clammy and cold. Danny struggled to fill his lungs with air as he lowered his head down to Steve's mouth to check for breathing. There was nothing. He pinched his friend's wrist with his fingers, trying desperately to find a pulse. Again there was nothing. "No… you're not doing this to me you son of a bitch." Danny snarled as he started to compress Steve's chest. "You're not doing this now."

"They're on their way." Joe said as he carefully navigated the steps to watch Danny fight for Steve.

Danny said nothing, just pushing with force against Steve's rib cage, he didn't even know if he was doing it right but he'd seen Steve do it enough times he felt he could wing it. "Come on!" Danny shouted with frustration.

"Here… let me do it… you check for a pulse." Joe said as he pushed him out of the way and started.

Danny lifted his fingers up to Steve's neck and waited. "Wait…" he gasped.

Joe stopped for a moment, but never once did he remove his hands from Steve.

Danny sighed quickly with slight relief. "There's a pulse… it's weak… but it's there."

"You keep your hand right there." Joe nodded. "I'm going to wait out front for the EMT's… if it stops again, you call out and break some ribs."

Danny nodded.

"You did good, Danny…" Joe said encouragingly, he could see how much he'd been affected by the situation.

"Come on Steve… wake up." He pleaded. "Open your eyes."

**Authors Note: Thank you so much for all the follows and comments. I really do appreciate it. I know Catherine's death wasn't one everyone was happy with but I started out this story with an ending and the only way I could get to it was having her die. If I had decided to keep her alive then it would have been anything I could write about. I'm sad that I have received a couple of very nasty and abusive messages from (what I believe) was from one person. I totally accept criticism for my story line or writing style, I welcome it, but to have someone go as mental as this person did was quite concerning. If that 'Guest' is still reading, please seek some help. This is a fan fic, it's not the show nor is it real life. You took it way overboard, anyone would have thought I actually killed someone! Cheers to the rest of you!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Danny sat quietly in the back of the ambulance as an EMT worked frantically over Steve, his body limp and completely unresponsive as needle after needle was inserted into his skin. The monitors beeped slowly, a tell tale sign that his heart was only just clinging on. Joe pumped his hand around the bag that meticulously delivered air into his lungs, causing the only movement of his chest rising and falling.

It just seemed like a nightmare and Danny was front and center, so much going through his mind and now he had a clear understanding of the bitterness Steve felt toward Catherine because he was experiencing it toward Steve. How could he have done this?

Suddenly Steve's body started to shudder and ridged, this was now the third seizure he'd had since the EMT's had taken over. Although it was less petrifying to Danny this time around, because he now knew what it was, it still placed him on edge and fraught with concern about how dire the situation was.

Moments after the seizure ended, the doors to the ambulance were thrown open and the gurney removed at speed. A doctor took over from Joe as Danny carefully and reluctantly stepped out. He saw the group of people race through the main doors and disappear shouting a well-rehearsed dialect of medical jargon.

"He's going to be alright." Joe nodded as he stepped back over to Danny, encouraging him to come through the doors, but he was frozen. "He's strong."

"You think this is strong? Joe? He just put a needle in his arm and dosed himself up. I'd say that's a fairly good indication of how any strength, he had, is gone."

Joe thinned his lips, bewilderment on his face. "What was he doing with the stuff in the first place?"

Danny sighed as he turned, his hand covering his mouth for a moment. "Took it from a search we did yesterday."

"And you knew about it?" Joe growled.

"Yeah, sure… I thought depressed Steve, bag of Heroin, what could go wrong? No. Joe." Danny snapped. "I just found out. That's why I was there."

Joe's stance backed down, his shoulders dropping when he realized that of course Danny was just as shocked about this as everyone else was. "I just keep thinking, if you hadn't gotten us to the house when you did… if we'd been much later… how different things could be. Danny… you quite possibly saved his life."

"Yeah well…" Danny gritted his teeth together. "The question is now, is he going to hug me or shoot me for doing that? I don't know. Do you?" he growled as he walked past and through the doors.

With that thought in his mind Joe's eyes drifted down. He honestly had no answer.

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"Danny…" Kono hurried towards him as he paced the waiting room of the ER, Chin followed closely behind.

"How is he?" Chin asked, frowning.

Danny couldn't find the words, looking at them and shrugging.

Joe stood up and walked over. "They don't know yet… but he was in a bad way when we got here…" he started. "They treated him at the house, tried giving him Narcan, but it didn't have much effect."

"He was dead…" Danny nodded, his eyes filled with complete anguish and torment. "He was dead when I got to him. He wasn't breathing and his heart had stopped." He paused as he played the words over in his mind, somehow actually saying them made him feel like they should make it easier to comprehend but in reality it only seemed to frighten him. "He was dead…" he repeated softly.

Kono cupped her hand behind Danny's neck, pulling him into her as he rested his head against her shoulder.

"Danny did a great job getting him back." Joe nodded.

"I should have paid more attention to him." Danny said as he pulled away, turned and raised his hands to his head. "I should have stayed with him." He shook his head.

"Danny..." Chin whispered as he shook his head with sympathy.

"Detective Williams." A nurse appeared.

He looked over to her, the anguish still smoldering in his expression. "Yeah, that's me."

"The doctor is going to come out and talk with you shortly, but I need to ask you a couple of things."

Danny nodded. "Sure."

"We have limited notes about Commander McGarrett's previous medical history… but when he was admitted to the hospital before he indicated he couldn't have an MRI, however there's nothing listed that gives us a reason… do you know of anything? Pins? Plates?"

"No… not that I know of." Danny shook his head.

Joe shuffled on his feet. "A piece of shrapnel… embedded under the right hand side of his rib cage."

Danny turned, intrigue on his face. "Shrapnel?"

Joe bit his lip. "A bullet fragment."

"A bullet fragment." Danny turned to the nurse and nodded. "That help?"

"That sounds like it could be it. Thank you…" the nurse nodded before turning to head back through the doors.

"Huh…" Danny raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest. "A bullet fragment. I did not know about that."

"He probably couldn't tell you." Joe answered.

"Oh, I see… because it's a covert and top secret bullet?" Danny swiped. "What happens if he tells someone about it? It launches some kind of counter attack?"

"Danny…" Joe sighed.

"It's classified… I know… it's always classified… but you'd think since he put me down as his next of kin, information like that might be considered helpful to ensure that, under these kinds of circumstances, he does not end up in any kind of magnetic field." Danny pushed.

"Understood. Now you know." Joe nodded.

A female doctor stepped up behind them, pushed her hands into her pockets. "Excuse me, Detective?"

"Yes…" Danny turned.

The doctor glanced at the others before looking back to Danny and pausing.

"Oh, no… it's ok. We're all family… I'll just end up telling them what you tell me only my version won't make sense… so go ahead, do me a favor." He nodded.

"Alright…" she replied. "Commander McGarrett is unfortunately not responding as quickly as we would like to see. If this was a straight forward drug overdose then the Narcan should have been more effective by now… however he is still in a very bad way."

Kono's eyes widened.

"At this stage we are considering the ideas that there may be other factors behind his condition." The doctor nodded.

"Like what? What would they be?" Danny frowned.

"You told EMT's that you had no idea how long his heart stopped for... is that right?"

"Yeah, that's right."

"Ok... well it's not uncommon for a patient, who was in prolonged cardiac arrest, to have suffered from cerebral hypoxia."

"What is that?" Danny frowned.

Chin and Joe glanced at each other, clearly they knew.

She tilted her head sympathetically. "When someone stops breathing and their heart stops for a length of time, their brain becomes deprived of oxygen. The cells and tissue in the brain start to die, causing damage."

Danny creased his brow, his eyes burning through the woman. "How…" he cleared his throat. "How bad would we be talking about?"

Chin's cell phone rang causing him to step away from the group.

The doctor shrugged softly. "Until he wakes up, we won't know the extent of the damage, if any." She paused. "We're also checking for any injuries he may have from the fall, and we are running his bloods again to look more closely for other drugs that could be suppressing his recovery."

Danny slumped down into a chair as he glared at the floor.

"The EMT's also said that as far as you knew this was the first time he'd taken the drug?"

"Yeah…" Danny nodded. "He's been through a lot this past week… he's not the biggest talker, and to get through it he was drinking more than usual… I guess he wanted to try something a little stronger."

"And as far as you know he has had no dealings with Heroin before now? I need you to be sure."

"I spend a good chunk of my time with Steve. It would be impossible for him to hide a drug addiction from me. I've never seen him high, he's never talked about taking drugs… sure we've dealt with cases where they have been involved but that's as far as both of our knowledge or interest goes."

She thinned her lips and shuffled cautiously. "We're just trying to determine his state of mind when he took the drugs. Trying to establish if this was a simple accident, if knew what he was doing or if he didn't care?" The woman nodded.

"What does that mean?" Danny stood up, anger in his expression as he glared at the woman.

"Steve's been exposed to heroin usage in the past." Joe nodded quietly.

The doctor turned to the old man.

Danny choked a laugh and threw his hands up to surrender. "Of course he has."

"Let's just say he's had experience in dosing the drug for medical reasons. Pain relief." Joe nodded to the doctor.

"So he'd have some idea on the quantities." The doctor nodded.

"Better than some people, yes I believe so." Joe answered.

The doctor frowned as she lowered her head. "The levels of heroin in his blood were extremely high." She said softly.

"What's your point?" Danny asked.

"The coming stages in his recovery are critical. Not only physically but mentally. With this information as well as knowing he has recently suffered a tragic loss, we have to take the approach that he did this to end his life." she paused. "That would mean if he's unstable he would need additional treatment in the days to come."

Danny shook his head and turned away, disgusted to even hear someone who knew nothing about Steve suggest such a thing. He believed that Steve had taken the drug to stop the pain but not to end his life. He suddenly felt this rush of anger and bitterness that this could even be considered.

"We're moving him up to ICU in the next fifteen minutes." The doctor nodded. "I should get back."

"Great idea… get out of here." Danny growled.

"Danny." Joe said as he rested his hands against his chest as if to push him back.

"I don't like her." He pointed. "She doesn't know the first thing about him. And how do you think you helped?" he snarled.

"I want Steve to get better… I will tell them anything I think is relevant enough to make sure that happens."

Danny grabbed his jacket.

"Danny, where are you going?" Kono asked.

"I don't need to be here…" he replied as he turned. "Joe's got all the answers… he knows everything there is to know… and the more I hear the more I don't like."

"The story… about Steve having experience with the drug? That's what's bothering you?"

"Yeah, a little." He snapped.

"Then I'll explain… if you just shut up and sit down." Joe nodded.

Danny glared at him, unsure if he was serious. He eventually nodded gently, dropping his jacket down and sitting on the chair.

Joe sat down next to him and cleared his throat. "Back on our first tour of Afghanistan, we were assigned to protect a cluster of Opium Poppy fields for the local farmers… it was early on in the war… at that point we were taking the approach of winning the hearts and trust of the locals by protecting their assets from the insurgents." he started. "The fields bordered a small compound, housed about 12 families. We were there for about a week before we came under heavy fire… several villagers and two of my team were badly injured, and at the time our resources were low."

Danny folded his arms over his chest.

"We needed to treat them with pain relief until we could get them extracted which wasn't going to be for at least 24 hours. One of the elders handed over some of the opiate in its purest form… this particular community used it frequently for pain management. We didn't think it was a good idea at first… but when we'd used all the morphine we had we knew we'd have to do something. We started to administer it under the villager's guidance." He looked at Danny. "Steve, at that time, was the team medic. He was the one responsible for providing those dosages."

"Why am I not surprised?" Danny shrugged. "Is there anything he hasn't done?" he looked up to Kono. "And you got snippy with me for dosing his coffee…"

"If Steve did this intentionally then we have to deal with it and accept it, Danny. We can be angry about it all we like but I want to know that if this was deliberate then they will make sure he gets help. We can't just stick our heads in the sand. That's not helping anyone."

"That was HPD…" Chin sighed as he stepped back over, pushing his cell phone in his pocket. "The governor got wind of what was going on… he ordered them to initiate a search of Steve's house. They just found a bag of heroin in a kitchen cupboard."

"Which cupboard?" Joe frowned.

"What does it matter?" Danny hissed.

"Where he keeps the cups and plates…" Chin answered.

"That's the one Mary was in when he lost it and kicked us out." Joe nodded. "Must have been why."

"Back to the point, why would the governor have HPD conduct a search?" Danny growled. "How does he even know about this already?"

"Information was leaked about Steve's overdose to a journalist, Aiden Walsh."

"Aiden Walsh…" Kono winced. "Of all people..."

"Am I supposed to know who he is?" Danny shrugged as he stood up.

"Any bad press 5-0 gets, it's usually him behind it." Kono replied. "He's an ex-cop turned reporter who has a beef with the way we do things."

"Now he's running the story about Steve, using the angle that the team has been led by a junkie for all these years." Chin nodded. "Walsh contacted the governor for comment… the governor is now in damage control."

"Mary doesn't know about Steve yet." Joe frowned.

"The story goes to air in less than twenty minutes." Chin said as he looked at his watch.

"We need to tell her before she finds out from the news." Kono nodded.

"I'll head back to the motel." Joe nodded.

"I'll come with you." Kono replied as the pair broke away.

"Ok, I'm still not following." Danny shook his head. "Why would this lead to the governor wanting Steve's place searched?"

"Duke thinks, in light of the publicity, the governor is taking a preemptive and reactive approach to any backlash that will come of this story. My guess, so that he looks like he's taking this seriously for public perception, he's going to gather enough evidence to make an example of Steve, take his badge off him, or worse."

"I'm not sure there would be a worst for him… 5-0 is all he has left."

"I don't know how we are going to contain this…" Chin shrugged. "I don't see how he has an out."

Danny gritted his teeth and shook his head, turning slightly.

"What? What is it?"

"It's nothing, just a gut feeling I have."

"Go on…" Chin encouraged him. "Danny… if it's something that might help the situation then say it."

Danny sighed. "None of this sits right with me… I know Steve…" he paused as he gave his statement some consideration. "Ok, so I may not have known he has a bullet lodging underneath his ribs or that he played Florence Nightingale with Opium Poppy's…"

"What are you talking about?" Chin frowned.

"Believe me I have always wanted to say this, Chin, but it's classified. My point is I know him as a person, I know that his integrity drives him and overtakes everything else. Taking his life, like this, it just doesn't fit."

"A moment of weakness under heavy grief can cause anyone to do anything. Even Steve." Chin shrugged gently.

"Then he has a thousand other ways of ending it. He has his gun… he has his dad's old car… just leave that running in the garage for five minutes and it would kill you pretty quick. Why would he do it this way? He'd know there would be fall out, the stigma that would follow him around. The humiliation. He wouldn't put us through that, Mary through that." Danny shook his head. "I don't buy it."

"So what's the alternative?" Chin answered.

"I think there is something more sinister behind this. I think that someone did this to him." Danny nodded with certainty.

Chin sighed. "Ok, so how do you want to play this?"

"We need to launch our own investigation." Danny nodded. "Cover every angle. Alvez said that Morley was on to Steve… he could have gone after him."

"That's a big call… and not something that could be proven easily."

"We need CSU to check for prints in the house."

"Danny, by now it's had two dozen officers traipsing through it. The scene would be contaminated."

"We just need one thing that ties Morley to being in Steve's house tonight." Danny nodded.

Chin sighed. "I'd need to sweet talk Duke in giving us some time before they submit any findings."

"I also need us to take another look at Morley's past, try and get deeper into it." Danny replied as he turned to the door and remembered why he was here. He was torn, between staying at the hospital and going to find the evidence that would clear Steve's name.

"You don't have to leave. As soon as Kono is done with Joe and Mary I'll get her to come help me."

"I just don't want to leave him alone… that's all."

"I got it." Chin nodded.

"Thank you…" Danny replied. He studied Chin's expression. "You don't believe it's anything more than a self-inflicted overdose, do you?"

"Danny, at this point in time I don't know what to think…" he said softly. "But if you believe, this strongly, that there is something else going on here… then that's good enough for me. And if there is something to be found, I'll find it. That I promise you."

"I hope so…" Danny nodded.

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Joe arrived back at the hospital and sat down next to Danny who was still waiting. "Any news?"

"No…" Danny shook his head softly, avoiding eye contact as he looked down.

"How's Mary?"

"She's pretty shaken up… and angry. So angry she didn't want to come in right now."

Danny coughed a bitter laugh. "Of course she doesn't. She is the female version of Steve."

"Aint that the truth." Joe sighed. "Kono filled me in on your theory. She's gone back to the Palace to work some things up with Chin…"

"I guess you think I'm just grasping at straws?" he said softly.

"Actually, no… I think you might be onto something."

Danny thinned his lips. "I'd probably would have it solved if I had my crime fighting side kick with me… but…"

"You'll work it out, Danny." Joe nodded. "With or without Steve."

Danny appreciated his kind words. "I'm sorry about giving you a hard time about all the classified stuff. It's just frustrating. It's like I'm always on the outside of an inside joke."

"You know if he could tell anyone any of it, it would be you… of that I have no doubt." Joe started.

"Probably a good job he can't talk about it. That might require Steve to have an actual conversation with real emotions…" Danny nodded. "When I first met him… I used to think he'd use the 'classified' excuse just to shut me up. Just to stop me from asking questions he didn't want to answer."

"And now?" Joe asked.

"Now I just think he does it to be a jerk." Danny muttered.

Joe smirked. "Danny, the world that Steve lives in is complex… he's spent much of his life under a cloud of secrecy… never being able to tell anyone what he's doing, where he's going, who he's seen. Once a Seal, you face the harsh reality that most of the information and the visions you keep inside your mind can never be passed on, in order to protect those around you." Joe's whispered. "It tears him up that he can never truly be honest with the people he cares about the most. Not you, not Mary, he couldn't even be honest with Catherine. Being in that kind of position, with that kind of obligation... It's tough. You might not see it, but I see that it haunts him. And that's why he is so hard to reach."

Danny moved his eyes slightly to Joe's direction without turning his head.

"I watched Steve gradually isolate himself over the years. Part to do with his loss and separation of his family… then his career pushed him to become even more detached."

Danny inhaled deeply as he leant forward.

"You can't beat yourself up for his distance, for the way handles things privately… it's not your fault. He doesn't know how to accept help like that. You can only effectively give support to someone who wants and knows how to receive it." He paused. "So though sitting here, right now in this moment with everything that's happened, you need to believe me when I say you did everything you could have done for him."

He thinned his lips. He understood where Joe was coming from but it still didn't make the 'what if's and 'if onlys' go away.

"Detective Williams…" A nurse appeared. "Would you like to come through?"

"Yeah…" he nodded, his eyes widened at the thought.

Joe smiled softly and encouragingly to him before patting him on the back. "Tell him we're waiting."

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Danny froze as he walked into the room and immediately saw Steve lying flat, shrouded by a heap medical equipment. The monitors and the ventilator sounded away in the dimly lit room. Again the only movement from Steve was his chest rising and falling under the pressure delivered by the machine.

"I know it's confronting…" the nurse said softly. "But he's in the best place with the best help."

"Can he hear me?" Danny asked as he pointed.

"It's possible." The nurse nodded. "Some people wake up and say they heard conversations. They usually respond better to people they know."

Danny needed just a moment before he had the exact amount of courage and strength to walk forward and do this. He found it so ironic that he laughed bitterly. "You know he's my best friend… and this morning I was doing the exact same thing with him… only he was visiting his fiancé who passed away a couple of days ago… he went to say goodbye." He nodded. "He looked so scared, and I couldn't work out why."

The nurse listened carefully.

"I didn't get it then… I mean I got it, but I didn't really get it." He continued. "I didn't get the anxiety… but now… now I do, because I'm where he was, and I'm feeling it too."

"Just take your time…" she whispered.

Danny nodded as he drew back a deep breath and before he knew it he was stood beside Steve. He studied his friend's face, his color was back slightly but much better than it had been when Danny had found him. His expression seemed peaceful, his eyes closed and still and his mouth parted slightly to allow for the tube to supply the air.

The nurse quietly stepped away, although Danny didn't even notice. He was too caught up in everything around his best friend.

He sat in silence for a long time before sighing. "They said I can talk to you… truth is… unless your snapping back at me I don't usually know what to say." He paused as he willed for some kind of reaction from Steve but there was nothing. "So Mary's ok… she's pretty pissed off with what's happened, she's refusing to see you but other than that… she's handling this like a pro, you'd be proud. Defiantly been to the Steve McGarrett School of coping." He said sarcastically.

Steve remained motionless.

"Chin and Kono are looking into a couple of things for me… Joe's outside waiting… he's going to come in and sit with you soon." Danny nodded before pausing. "And me… well…" he hesitated as he struggled to get his emotions in check. "Not that you'd care… but… um… I'm not doing so great." He tightened his jaw as he pushed back the tears that threatened in his eyes. "I had to handle something tonight that I never thought I would have the strength to do. I had to save the life of someone I care about… like not making that happen just wasn't an option… and then I think about how things would be if I hadn't got you back… and it freaks me out, Steve… it freaks me out." He lowered his head. "I got thoughts and scenarios in my head that I'm having trouble dealing with. All I want to do is sit down, have a beer and talk it all out with the one person I know would help me get through it… who'd tell me to toughen up and that it's going to be ok… but I can't."

"I guess what I'm saying is, I get it now… I get a little bit of what you've been dealing with over the past couple of days… and I have a better understanding of the fear and the pain you must have felt." Danny looked around the room then rested his eyes back on Steve's face. "I know you didn't do this to yourself… and I'm going to prove it, Steve." He paused. "I just need you to wake up, I need you to get better and help me get the son of a bitch that did this to you."

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**Authors Note: Thank you again for all the follows and reviews, so many kind words. You have been fantastic and I am so glad** **you are enjoying the story. I hope I the last couple of chapters will be just as enjoyable.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Max stood on the back deck of Steve's house, frowning as he studied the scene in the darkness.

"Hey Max… what are you doing here?" Chin asked as he stepped through the door with Kono.

Max turned with shock, his face filled with guilt.

"Max?" Kono said softly. "You ok?"

"I may have done something that is not in line with procedure." Max started.

"Ok…" Chin nodded with a frown.

"Of an illegal nature."

Kono tried in vain to keep the smirk off her lips.

"What have you done, Max?" Chin asked.

"When I spoke to Detective Williams earlier, he aired his suspicions about Commander McGarrett being set up. My initial instinct agreed with him. I thought perhaps I could render assistance." Max shuffled, avoiding eye contact. "I had a friend hack into HPD's servers so that I could read the notes being submitted regarding this case." 

"Woo… Max… that's hardened criminal kind of behavior." Kono nodded, her smirk now very visible.

"I know… and it is not something I am proud of but like I said, I felt it necessary." He answered. "And I was right."

"What did you find?" Chin asked.

"The toxicology reports from the hospital show large amounts of heroin in Commander McGarrett's blood."

"We know about that." Kono nodded.

"Did you also know that the latest Tox Screen showed trace amounts of Benzodiazepine in his system too?"

"No, we didn't." Chin answered as he frowned.

"It's possible that the two substances could have been mixed in the same syringe but given the amounts it was unlikely." Max nodded. "I had Charlie analyze the Syringe, found here, for residue. It showed that the only substance inside was heroin."

Kono frowned. "Alright… so what does that mean?"

"It means that somehow the Benzodiazepine got into Commander McGarrett's system, probably prior to the heroin being injected and likely administered from a separate syringe."

Chin sighed. "Max, I'm not following."

"Benzodiazepine is a tranquilizer, given in large doses can render someone unconscious. Mixed with heroin and alcohol, such as this case, the toxicity is much greater. The amount showing in Commander McGarrett's blood, at the time of the second blood screen, was enough to cause severe lethargy… in reality the levels at the time of the overdose would have been much higher and if that's the case it would probably have caused him to lose consciousness within seconds after being dosed."

"So if he took the tranquilizer first he wouldn't coherent enough to administer the heroin." Kono nodded.

"That's correct. I don't believe, under the influence of that much tranquilizer, he would have been able to administer the amount of heroin showing in his report. The syringe found here was not large enough to deliver that amount in one hit, it would have to have been injected four or five times. I also question his ability to walk from the table, where the heroin syringe was found, to the steps under the influence of that much Benzodiazepine alone, but would say it would have been physically impossible for him under the effect of both drugs. How he came to be at the bottom of the steps, given all of this information, leads me to only one conclusion."

"That someone else had to have been there." Chin sighed.

"This would also explain why a second syringe was not at the scene or any physical proof of the Benzodiazepine found in the search." Max paused. "If I was to give my professional opinion, I would say that the attacker used the Benzodiazepine to incapacitate Commander McGarrett, then dosed him with the heroin before throwing him down the steps. Perhaps to inflict more injury." he nodded. 

"What do you think are the chances of us finding the other syringe around here are?" Kono asked.

"Maybe HPD can canvas the area…" Chin nodded.

Max stepped forward with his wrists together.

"What are you doing?" Chin frowned.

"I am ready to accept my punishment." He said with all seriousness. "You may handcuff me now."

Kono shook her head as she smiled.

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**

"Hey…" Joe said softly as he shook Danny's arm.

Danny opened his eyes, at first confused about where he was until he saw all the equipment and the flashbacks invaded his thoughts. He looked around, squinting. "What time is it?"

"Seven AM."

Danny straightened in the chair before sighing. "How's he doing? Have you spoken to any of the doctors?"

"Yeah… no change." Joe replied softly. He paused as he saw the concern in Danny's face. "But, he hasn't got worse… that's got be something, right?"

Danny raised his eyebrows, unconvinced.

"I spoke to Catherine's mom… she was real worried about Steve." He nodded. "But she's not going to push back the funeral… it's going ahead today."

Danny sighed. "Brilliant." He growled softly. "Just another thing for him to beat himself up about."

Joe thinned his lips sympathetically. "Why don't you go home for a couple of hours? Get some decent sleep? I'll sit stay here."

Danny rubbed his eyes before shaking his head. "No… I'm good for now."

"Then at least go get some coffee, stretch your legs." Joe insisted. "Danny, the last thing any of us need is you down as well."

He thought about how stiff his muscles suddenly felt. His neck the worst. "I probably should call in with Kono and Chin."

"Good idea." Joe nodded as he swapped places with Danny. "Take your time… I won't let him go anywhere."

Danny smiled weakly. "Right."

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"Wow so Max has stepped over to the dark side? Steve would be proud." Danny said as he stood with his cell phone pressed to his ear. "He has now officially managed to corrupt each and every one of us by getting us to do something illegal for him at one time or another."

Chin smirked. "It doesn't bring us any closer to proving who did it but has to take some of the heat off Steve. HPD and the governor have no choice but to look at this from a different perspective."

"No, it's good work, Chin." Danny nodded somberly.

Chin paused for a moment, he could sense Danny's reluctance to be happy. "Hey… you called it Danny… you thought something was wrong and you acted on it."

"Of which it makes no difference if he doesn't pull through, does it?"

"No change?"

"Nope…" Danny lowered his head. "And they were saying that the longer he stays like this the worse the outcome could be."

"Hang in there…" Chin said encouragingly.

"Ok… Call me if you get anything else." He replied.

Joe was sitting beside Steve when Danny walked back in, the old man looked up. "Anything?"

Danny nodded. "Some answers… turns out they think it would have been next to impossible for Steve to have done this to himself."

"Well that's a relief." Joe nodded.

"Yeah…" Danny whispered. "They're working up suspects, one in particular, but they could probably use some help…"

"And you don't want to leave here?" Joe shook his head.

"I only want to leave here if I'm facing the son of a bitch who did this to him." He nodded.

"Then I'll go… you stay." Joe nodded.

"Thanks, Joe." Danny whispered as Joe stood up. "Hey… Can you do me a favor?"

"Of course." Joe turned to him.

"Can you tell Mary that this wasn't on him? I think she needs to know." He paused. "I'm worried that if decisions have to be made then at least one family member should be here."

Joe glanced back at Steve before looking to Danny again. "I'll make sure she understands." He nodded.

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"Kono…" Chin said as he tapped on the glass door to her office and headed back over to the computer table.

Kono walked out with a curious expression. "You found something?"

"I believe I have…" Chin nodded as he tapped on the screen. "Ok, so Danny asked me to look into Morley's background a little closer than we did when we ID'd him." He said swiping a file up onto the monitors. "Everything about Anton Morley, his personal information, his history, wrap sheet… everything… is in this file. Or so I thought." He nodded. "At a glance it all looks normal. Everything in this file, post 2006, seems to be legitimate… live information that all links up… but pre 2006…" he clicked on one of the icons and nothing happened.

"Ghost files." Kono frowned.

"Inactive icons… empty inserts put in there to make it look his file is complete."

"So… what happened pre 2006?"

"So glad you asked." Chin smiled. "Anton Morley didn't exist. It seems our friend was once Leon Roth from Brooklyn." He said swiping an NYPD mug shot up onto the screen. "He was arrested in 2005 for his involvement in a large drug syndicate, run by Russian brothers Alexi and Taras Barzukov."

"Sheepshead Bay cartel? That was one of the biggest drug busts in the country." Kono nodded. "We studied it at the academy."

"Right… now it turns out that, just prior to his arrest, Leon had a hit taken out on him… ordered by the Barzukov brothers."

"Why'd they do that?"

"Because Leon was taking a cut of the drugs, they supplied him, and selling them on the side."

"So he screwed major drug kingpins over… smart guy." Kono grinned with disbelief.

"It didn't stop there… when the brothers were arrested, Leon struck a deal with the DA that he would testify against them. This was a massive bust for NYPD, getting this syndicate shut down was top priority. Leon knew he could drive a hard bargain, since he was the only one willing to talk, so the DA gave in to a lot of his demands. He brokered a deal to have all current investigations and charges, involving him, dropped and to be placed into witness protection and given a new life." 

"And that life happened to be in Oahu, under the name of Anton Morley…" Kono nodded.

"Exactly." Chin nodded. "Nice deal if you can get it."

"Ok, so we know he had priors in drug dealing… but how does this help Steve?"

"Three active investigations, involving Leon, were running at the time he made the deal… all looking into his involvement in deaths caused by overdose."

"Ok. Still not seeing it." Kono nodded.

"Well, NYPD didn't get much of a chance to get the investigations up and running before the pin was pulled… but when I spoke to a Sargent over there, who knew Leon pretty well and was involved in all three cases, he said the evidence suggested that the three victims were customers of Leon's. That there had been an altercation about money… things got out of hand, he went back to teach them a lesson."

"By overdosing them."

"Right…" Chin nodded.

"Do they have any files left on these cases?"

"Nothing official enough to be considered as evidence. But they do have toxicology reports from all three of the victims. All were drugged with large doses heroin, and wait for it… Benzodiazepine."

Kono sighed, a smile creeping over her lips.

"Like Max's theory, the NYPD investigators believed that he used the tranq to incapacitate them, then finish them off with the heroin."

"How did they tie it to Morley?" Kono asked.

"This was back in the day when he was even more stupid than he is now…" Chin nodded. "Finger prints over all three scenes, and he told a whole bunch of people what he'd done, including an undercover cop. Thought it would give him street cred."

"So, we got our suspect."

"Not quite… even though it shows the same MO, it's still not enough to charge him. We'd still need hard evidence."

Kono smiled. "The thing is Chin… we know who Morley is now… I'm sure there's a lot of people out there looking for him… Get him in for a chat, a few subtle threats of his identity being accidently released, I'm certain he'd be keen to cooperate."

"I like you're thinking." Chin smiled. "And I was hoping you were going to say something along those lines. I'll get HPD to pick him up."

"Hold on… do we know if Ella Jackson had Benzodiazepine in her system also?" Kono asked.

"You think Morley could have been responsible for her death too?"

"It's worth looking in to right?" she nodded. "I'm going to call Max, see if he can get the toxicology report. I also think it's worth taking a look around Ella's apartment… her death wasn't considered suspicious at the time, so a crime scene wasn't established. What if there is something there that connects Morley to her?"

"Do it." Chin nodded.

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"Danny…" Mary said as she walked over to the bed cautiously. Her face creased with emotion when she saw her brother.

"Hey…" he said softly, standing up and walking over.

"Oh my god…" she whispered, raising her hand to her mouth. "I didn't want to believe it was this bad."

Danny didn't know what to say. He knew what it felt like when people tried to tell him things would be ok and that Steve would pull through, it was just guessing and no one had any idea.

"I was so angry with him… I just couldn't work out why he would do this to me… to any of us."

"I get it… I do." Danny nodded. "Here… why don't you sit down."

Mary walked over to the seat, perching herself on the edge. "What have they said?"

Danny sighed. "They expected him to have shown improvement by now… at least some kind of response…" Danny shrugged.

"You're worried…" she whispered.

"Yeah, I'm worried… I'm worried that he might not come out of this… I'm worried that if he does he might not be like he was before… I'm worried that he won't remember what's happened and that he's going to have to go through all this crap finding out about Catherine again." Danny hissed, angry at the situation more than anything else.

Mary didn't know what to say, Danny's unease sent her world spinning. She sighed as she looked back towards her brother. "Did you try holding his hand?"

Danny winced, puffing out his chest. "No, I didn't try holding his hand."

"I'm just asking…" Mary sniped. "I read somewhere that it can help in situations like this, they can respond to it."

"If I thought that was true I would have not only held his hand, but broken it by now." Danny quipped

Mary sighed, turning to Steve as she placed her hand softly on his before curling her fingers around. She paused, lowering her head when there was nothing.

Danny looked away, frustrated that his last hope of getting through to Steve seemed to have failed. He was starting to believe that the outlook was bleak.

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

Kono pushed through the doors of HQ with a proud expression.

"Looks like it's good news." Joe smiled.

"Oh it most certainly is." Kono replied.

"You got a connection?" Chin asked.

Kono pushed a memory stick into the side of the computer table and brought up a window. "Marie Frances, Ella Jackson's roommate, said Ella had started using Marie's old laptop just after the disagreement with her father over her boyfriend." She nodded. "Ella's computer is a Global Logistics asset and she feared that her emails were being hacked by her father's IT department."

"So she was using this one to correspond with her boyfriend?" Chin nodded.

"And…" Kono swiped the page up. "A couple of messages between Ella and this person."

"Brooklynphoenix…" Joe read as he thinned his eyes.

"Get the money or the video goes public." Chin read as he stepped closer. "There is no more money, I've been cut off from my parents."

"Yeah, and the messages get more and more threatening as it goes on." Kono nodded.

"I don't suppose you have an ID on this Brooklyphoenix, do you?" Chin asked.

"Cyber unit confirmed that eight of the ten messages came from an IP registered at Morley's address…"

"Danny said their CI, Alvez, had mentioned a video Morley had taken of Ella shooting up… he planned to use it to blackmail her… when he realized she'd lost her trust fund and that his extortion attempt wasn't going to work, he killed her." Chin nodded.

"And this is the guy you think went after Steve?" Joe asked.

"We'd lay money on it…" Chin replied.

"Why hasn't he been brought in already?" Joe shrugged.

"HPD are still trying to track him down." Kono answered. "I went ahead and issued a high priority warrant for his arrest."

"Well when they do finally drag him in… I'm all for locking him in a room with Danny." Joe turned to the pair.

"They'll be a long line of people wanting to have a chat with him." Chin nodded.

"At this stage I don't think Danny is interested in chatting." Joe replied.

"We still need hard evidence to seal this on Morley." Kono shrugged.

"Yeah, but this is all helping to build a pretty damming case against him." Chin nodded.

"You'll get something…" Joe nodded with certainty.

Danny checked his watch, it was close to seven pm and almost twenty four hours since he and Joe had found Steve and as the adrenaline had worn off, fatigue had started to kick in. He settled back in the chair beside the bed, sinking his head into a pillow and closing his eyes. He would drift off straight away if he didn't have this underlying worry that something would happen. It was minutes later when he couldn't seem to fight it any longer and exhaustion took over.

He didn't know exactly how long it had been, it felt like seconds but he knew it would have been more like hours, when he woke to a sound that was foreign to the mundane beeps of machines. His eyes opened and he straightened as he looked around. The sound of choking became clearer as Steve's body had become rigid under the blankets, his hands thrashing around his mouth. Danny immediately thought he was having another seizure but when he thought about it some more it was completely different.

A nurse and a doctor rushed over to Steve's side, saying strings of words that didn't seem to make any sense unless you were from their profession.

"What is it? Is he alright?" Danny asked as he stood up.

"Commander McGarrett, my name is Doctor Henesy… it's alright, you're at Kings… you need to calm down and we'll get this tube out." The doctor called out clearly.

The nurse fussed around, freeing the ventilator where possible before the doctor pulled it out and away from his mouth.

Steve gasped for air, filling his lungs off his own free will like he'd been holding his breath for the past day.

Danny couldn't see his face he was just relieved that at last there was something.

Steve's body had relaxed considerably for a moment when the obstruction in his airway had been removed, but his calmness was short-lived as he seemed to become irritated.

"Commander, you need to calm down." The doctor repeated. "Everything is alright."

Steve continued to thrash around, throwing his arms as if to push the doctor away but at the same time it appeared he was clawing his way up the bed in what seemed to be fear. Danny stepped over to a place where he could see Steve's face. His expression was confused and when he considered Steve's actions more he was convinced it was almost fight or flight like. Danny knew this was a bad combination, particularly if Steve was still in the last moment he could remember with someone pulling him down to cause him harm. He may easily mistake the staff as that person and react accordingly.

"Woo woo woo… wait…" Danny said as he stepped forward. "Back up…" he insisted.

"Detective…" the doctor said as he raised his arms to protest.

"Steve… it's me…" Danny said as he pulled the nurse back and away, almost protectively.

Steve's eyes were wide, like a deer caught in headlights as he struggled to focus on anyone's faces or voices.

"You need to leave." Danny said as he looked at the doctor.

"We need to check him over." The doctor answered.

Steve pawed at what he believed were restraints on his body but in reality he was pulling out everything he could reach. IV lines were ripped out and bleeding and the machines were sounding alarms.

"Trust me… now is clearly not a good time for him, you do not want to set him off… he's confused and there is nothing more dangerous than a freaked out Navy Seal, especially this one. If there is no medical urgency right now just, please… give me five minutes with him... Please." Danny begged.

The doctor stepped back, he could hear the panicked tone in Danny's voice and suddenly understood.

Steve was still trying to free himself but it wasn't the physical restraints that were now the problem. His eyes and muscles were heavy from fending the strangers off, his energy spent. He gasped for air.

"Would you please stop? Listen to me. Stop." Danny reasoned with his friend from a distance. "Steve… enough."

"Ok… we'll be right outside." The doctor nodded as he looked at the nurse.

"Got it." Danny said softly, nodding with encouragement. Once the doctor had left the room he, without any thought, headed over to Steve. "Stop. Enough." He said calmly as he placed his hand on his shoulder and pushed him down. Danny's heart was pacing a million miles an hour. He studied his disorientated friend, this was new aspect of him shone through that he'd never seen before. He had no idea how Steve was going to react to anything, not even to him, but he knew he had to try and get a handle on his anxiousness. "Steve…" he said, stooping down to get into his friends line of sight. "It's me… everything is ok… you're ok."

Steve's eyes finally locked onto his face but there was nothing in his expression that could convince Danny he was coherent.

"It's alright…" Danny nodded. "Just take your time and figure this out." He replied softly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

"You alright?" Danny asked as he remained close to Steve, sitting down slowly.

"Yeah…" he nodded, still his breathing was heavy from the struggle he'd given. His eyes kept flicking to Danny's face but his expression suggested he was either embarrassed or ashamed to look at him.

"Ok…" he whispered with relief. "Good…"

Steve closed his eyes, eager to control his breathing.

"Just relax…" Danny patted him on the arm.

They paused for a moment, allowing Steve to compose himself as much as he could.

"Hey, listen…" he whispered then paused. "Do you remember what happened to you?"

Steve opened his eyes and looked at Danny. "Home..."

"Yeah…" Danny whispered encouragingly. "You were at home… someone else was there too."

He tried desperately to go through the events in his mind, he remembered being held back, someone had a lock around his neck and things went dark soon after. "Catherine…" he asked desperately. Was it all a terrible nightmare?

Danny's heart skipped a beat, but he sensed even though Steve was asking he knew the answer. He couldn't string the words together, hoping that his expression would say it all.

Steve looked away, he could handle it but of course there was a tiny bit of him that had hoped beyond hope that things could have been different.

"Steve, they had to go ahead with the funeral today… Cat's mom couldn't delay it."

He paused, squeezing his eyes tightly together. "I understand…" he whispered, his voice breaking.

"But, you know what? We will work something out… something for all of us to do to say goodbye." Danny said encouragingly.

Steve centered his head to look straight up at the roof.

"The doctor wants to come back in here… check you out…" Danny said as he got to his feet.

"Danny…" Steve grabbed his arm, clutching it tightly as the fear in his eyes grew.

Danny was taken by the vulnerability in his expression, he didn't know precisely what Steve was worried about but even though everything he knew about him went against his theory he had drawn to the conclusion that perhaps Steve was afraid. Of what he couldn't answer.

Steve slowly released his grip although it took him every ounce of strength to do so. He nodded softly, allowing Danny to walk out of sight for just a second before coming back into view flanked by the doctor and nurse.

"You good?" Danny nodded to his best friend protectively, if he said no then Danny would have no hesitations in frog marching the doctor and help out again.

Steve nodded gently, though his unease of having these people close was evident.

The doctor raised the head to the bed and grabbed a torch from his pocket, shinning it into Steve's eyes. The bright beam caused him to involuntarily wince, turn and squeeze his eyes together. "Commander, do you know what year we're in?"

"2014…" Steve answered.

"And what month?"

"May." He whispered.

"Good…" The doctor nodded. "I need you to squeeze my hand... now this one…" he instructed.

Steve followed the orders successfully.

"That's great." The doctor replied encouragingly. "How do you feel?"

"Tired…" Steve answered, his eyes filled with distrust and pain flicking between the doctor and the nurse.

"Ok." The doctor whispered with a gentle nod. "We're going to leave you be for now… we'll come back in a couple of hours and do some more tests. You ok with that?"

"Yeah." He whispered as he fought the sudden onset of overwhelming fatigue.

"Detective… when you're ready." The doctor said quietly as he nodded back toward the door.

"Yeah." Danny thinned his lips before the doctor and nurse disappeared again. He knew Steve seemed on edge and if he could just wait until he was settled before he disappeared he would be happier. He sighed and looked back to Steve who had seemingly lost his battle to stay awake. "Steve…" he whispered, shaking his arm.

Steve turned his head away in protest.

Danny saw that as his opportunity and was relieved he didn't have to fight to take it. He carefully got up and walked back to the door, stepping out into the corridor. 

"Initial testing shows no obvious problems with motor, reflex and memory skills… that's a good sign." The doctor nodded. "That doesn't completely rule out any kind of damage done to the brain…"

"Some would argue his brain was fairly damaged beforehand." Danny nodded.

"What I need you, and anyone around him, to do is watch out for any changes."

"What kind of changes?" Danny shrugged.

The doctor paused for a moment. "Personality changes can be common… mood swings, irritability… patients can be irrational in their thinking and reactions."

Danny's eyes glared into nothingness as he recalled the hints he'd already seen.

"You've noticed something?" The doctor asked.

Danny filled his mouth with air, exhaling. He didn't want to say too much just yet. "It's hard to tell with Steve. He thrives off being irrational. The extremes vary on a minute by minute basis."

"You may not see anything, in which case it's great, but if you do we need to know so that he can get some support." The doctor continued as he grabbed a strip of paper from the machine at the nurses station. "His BP is high… that seemed to go up when we went in… but with you he calmed a lot."

"Can I have that in writing?" Danny asked dryly. "Listen… I know at some point he's going to start looking for an escape route out of here. What are we looking at? How long would he be here for?"

"Providing his next assessment shows nothing untoward and he has no physical setbacks… he could be released tomorrow."

"That's good…" Danny nodded.

"So far things are looking as good as they should be."

"Thanks." Danny nodded with a slight smile.

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

It was only 30 minutes or so before Steve opened his eyes again, gasping for air once more, his eyes wide open, as if he had been startled from his sleep.

"What's going on? Calm down." Danny ordered.

"I need to get out of here." Steve whispered.

"Yeah, well… you can't… not right now. So do me a favor and just sit tight. Ok?" Danny nodded.

Steve's eyes were locked on Danny, as if he was silently screaming out for comfort.

"What? Steve… what's going on?" Danny asked softly.

Steve couldn't reply, he didn't know what was stopping him but he just couldn't string the sentence together.

Danny looked down at his friends hand, it was clearly trembling.

"Is something wrong? You feel sick?"

"No…" he answered with mild frustration.

"Then what? Because I'm not in the mood for guessing games, I'm just putting it out there." Danny answered with double the amount of frustration. He closed his eyes and sighed. That was wrong, he shouldn't have snapped like that but he couldn't help Steve if he didn't help him understand.

"You said someone was in the house…" Steve answered cautiously.

Danny nodded. "I hope so…"

"What does that mean?"

"Because the alternative is that you dosed yourself with enough tranquilizer and heroin to kill yourself."

"What?" Steve gasped.

"That's what we all believed. It's only that Max, Chin and Kono found proof that it was next to impossible for you to actually do yourself… but then there are still factors that we can't explain."

Steve glared at him, shrugging softly.

"The heroin… found in a kitchen cupboard…

He exhaled loudly as he closed his eyes for a moment.

Danny sighed. "I know you took it from Morley's house… HPD found it after the governor ordered a search of your place. I just can't work out why you did it."

Steve's eyes drifted down.

"You know, I think I deserve the truth. If not for me to understand, but for us to help you. The governor is being backed into a corner, he's got people on all angles pushing him to act against you." He paused. "We can't protect you unless we understand."

Steve nodded gently, still refusing to look at Danny. "In the moment I found it… I thought about using it. I don't know, I guess I just wanted to see if it would help. I pushed it in my pocket and I walked out."

Danny straightened, taking in a breath as his face flickered with disappointment.

"I forgot about it, until I got home." He paused. "I didn't know what to do, so I put it in the cupboard and then I was going to get rid of it the next day."

"But you didn't."

"No… I didn't have the energy to deal with it before you took me to see Catherine… then Joe and Mary were there when we got back."

"You kicked them out… Joe thinks it was because Mary could have found the stash."

"I didn't want her to find it, I didn't want either of them to read more into it than there was. I made a bad judgment call in one stupid moment… I was angry with myself… ashamed… I took it out on them." He paused. "I told them to leave… I went and had a shower, figured out what I was going to do, came downstairs… that's when someone grabbed me from behind… wrapped their arm around my neck, I didn't think it was tight enough to knock me out but that's the last thing I remember."

Danny nodded. "They dosed you with Benzodiazepine… then heroin. Threw you outside… left the evidence there to make it look like an overdose…"

Steve looked up at Danny with shock.

"We had one of Morley's associates in for questioning… he told us that you'd taken the drugs from the house… I didn't want to believe you'd do anything stupid but I couldn't be sure, since you'd already taken the drugs from Morley in the first place. I got Joe to meet me at your house… and we found you."

Steve swallowed the lump in the back of his throat.

"I understand as a SEAL, you've had more than your fair share of death… seeing people you care about die right in front of you… but for me, the image of you lying there is burnt into my mind." He continued. "I was so angry with you… that you could do this… that you would even consider taking this way out." He paused. "Then something clicked. It made no sense. You don't ever take the easy way out, no matter how hard things get. The more I thought about it all, the more I started to think it was a set up. The amounts that they found in your system were high enough for them to say you did it to harm yourself. Joe told me about your dealings with the drug in your past, so I knew it wasn't an accident. The CI we had in, he said Morley was angry with you, that he was gunning for you."

Steve closed his eyes, he was beyond ashamed that Danny had been through this but incredibly humbled that he not only saved him but that he could look past the evidence and believe in him.

"Once we started looking into Morley, it all started slipping into place. He has a history in this particular game… we believe Ella Jackson's death wasn't due to an overdose… but that Morley murdered her. The way he tried to murder you."

Steve finally allowed his eyes to lock on Danny.

"We're working on bringing him in." Danny nodded.

"I made a stupid mistake… I considered it for one second… but I didn't think about it again." He replied. "I promise you."

Danny looked into his eyes, he could see Steve was genuine. "Ok… this is good… we can work with this."

Steve shifted, grabbing hold of his ribs and wincing.

"Oh yeah… right. That would be my fault." Danny pointed.

"What did you do? Dance on them?" Steve snapped.

"I remembered someone telling me that when you do CPR, if you don't damage ribs you're not doing it right." Danny nodded.

"In that case you did it perfectly." Steve growled softly.

"Got you back, didn't I?" Danny grinned with pride, no remorse or sympathy.

"Steve…" Mary said as she rushed over from the door and hugged him. "I'm so glad you're ok." She whispered.

He held her tightly as he brushed her hair. Moments later they broke their embrace.

"Hey…" Joe appeared in the doorway with a smile.

Steve shifted nervously as he glared at Joe. The air around him instantaneously switched from calm to anxious. Danny picked up on it immediately, though he had no intentions of calling Steve on it. Perhaps he was just wary.

"It's good to see you back." Joe said as he stepped over.

Steve looked down at the floor, but it was the fight or flight expression he had that Danny felt uncomfortable with. This was more than just Steve being wary. It was terror mixed in.

"Hey… you ok?" Danny asked Steve, unable to hold back his concerns.

Joe straightened, his smile faded, he too knew something wasn't right. "It's alright Danny…" he said softly. "I caught you at a bad time. I was just dropping Mary off, thought I'd call in and say hello… make sure you were doing ok. I got some things to do… so..." He nodded.

Danny glanced at Joe before looking back to Steve.

"Thanks Joe." Mary called out, unaware of any change in her brother as Joe walked out.

Steve's body relaxed just as quickly as it had tensed.

Danny considered talking to him about it, but he suspected now wasn't the time. Especially in front of Mary. "I need a soda… you want one?" he said softly.

"No." Steve replied.

"You ok if I step out for a while?" Danny asked.

"Yeah…" Steve nodded.

"Mary, you good to stay with him until I get back?" Danny questioned.

"Sure." She replied. "But I only have an hour… Joan is with some friends."

"Ok." Danny nodded. "I'll be right back."

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Danny stepped down the corridor with his soda in his hand when his cell phone chirped. He pulled it from his pocket.

"Kono…" he said

"We got Morley. HPD are bringing him in right now. You wanted to run this?" Kono asked.

"Yes I do… no one is to speak to him until I get there. You understand?" Danny instructed before hanging up and running back down the corridor, throwing the soda in the trash.

**H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50 H50**

Danny stepped into the 5-0 office where Chin and Kono were waiting.

"Hey, how's Steve doing?" Chin asked.

"Better when I left… but Mary's with him now so that should screw him right up…" Danny nodded sarcastically. "Morley?"

Chin grinned. "HPD are on approach… they found him on the North Shore after they got intel suggesting he was trying to get papers to leave the island."

"Nice save." Danny nodded.

"The governor has backed off from Steve, but he still wants a 'please explain' as to how the drugs ended up in his house." Chin continued.

"We thought maybe we could go along the lines that Morley planted them there…" Kono started. "But Steve's finger prints are all over the bag which might make things a little more complicated."

"Steve said that he had a momentary lapse… made a crazy decision to take the heroin with the intent to use… but when he realized it was in his pocket that night he'd come to his senses and he had no intentions." Danny started. "What do you think the governor would do if we just told him the truth?"

"If, and it's a big if, the governor accepts that it was a bad decision made by Steve then I think the best we can expect is that Steve be stood down as head of 5-0 on a permanent basis… he could replace him with one of us, but Kono and I won't take it, and I'm fairly certain you'd be the same." Chin started.

"Not a chance in hell." Danny nodded.

"That means they'll bring in an external. It's one thing having someone come into this circle working under our guidance, but to have someone come in here and take charge is something completely different." Kono added.

"I agree… so we're screwed." Danny sighed.

"Not necessarily. I may have an out… but I don't think Steve will like it." Chin replied.

"Excuse me… Detective Williams… your prisoner is here." A HPD officer said as he stood at the door.

"Thanks, we'll be right down." Danny nodded. "Go on…" he looked back at Chin.

"We put this down to a covert operation being run by Steve in order to bait Morley." Chin continued.

"That we already suspected Morley in the death of Ella Jackson." Kono nodded. "Our intention was to provoke him enough to get him to come after Steve and cause harm."

Danny nodded. "Sounds good… you don't think Steve will like it because…?"

"Steve's integrity means a lot to him." Chin shrugged. "This will be an outright lie."

"True… but at the end of the day if Steve hadn't of taken the heroin and set the wheels in motion then all Morley would be looking at now would be dealing… not murder." Danny rationalized. "Intentional or not, Steve's actions will contribute to Morley's arrest."

"I agree…" Chin nodded. "If the governor has a problem with why we didn't come forward with the details until now, we just put it down to the case being an active and open investigation. Morley's arrest changes the flow of information."

"How do we make this look legitimate? We need a paper trail to back the story up." Danny asked.

"I've spoken to your friend, Toast… providing Steve's ok with this, he's going to come in within the hour and we'll get him to insert some logs into our system with dummy time stamps." Chin nodded. "Backdate them to the morning of the search you guys did."

"Just do it. You give Steve a choice and he'll take the moral high ground… that's no good for anyone. I'll deal with any fall out." Danny nodded.

Kono raised her eyebrows. "I agree with Danny… Just do it."

"Alright…" Chin nodded.

The trio started to walk towards the elevator when Danny's cell phone chimed again. "It's the hospital." He said. "Detective Williams…" he paused. "Ok, can you just tell him I'll be there soon?" Danny sighed with frustration. "I'll be there as soon as I can." He nodded before pressing his phone to hang up.

"Problems?" Kono frowned.

The doors to the elevator opened as they stepped out.

"Mary had to leave… Steve's been a little on edge, he's asking where I am."

Kono's frown deepened as she glanced at Chin.

"I know…" Danny nodded. "Something is going on with him. I don't know what, but it's got me worried. He freaked out with the doctors earlier, then Joe. Ironically it seems I have this calming effect on him."

"You?" Chin choked.

"I know… crazy, right?" Danny nodded.

"You wanna go?" Chin asked.

"Yes. I want to go. But right now I want to deal with this oxygen thief more." Danny said as he turned and continued down the corridor.

"You think he's in the right headspace for this?" Kono asked quietly.

"I think he'll get what we need." Chin nodded. "Steve's usually the one who throws his weight around… I think Danny has got it inside of him. He's pissed off and worried… he's been through hell in the past day. I think it's time to let him open up, and if that means taking it out on Morley then I'm all for it."

"Ok." Kono nodded as the pair followed.

Danny walked into the room, flanked by his colleagues. He stood with his arms folded over his chest.

"Why am I here?" Morley asked.

Danny laughed as he turned to the others. "You hear that? Like he has no clue. That's cute."

"He's pretty stupid, Danny… I'm certain connecting dots would be above his IQ." Kono stood glaring at the suspect.

"You're in trouble, Anton…" Danny started. "No matter which way you look at this… the best thing for you to do right now would be to cut the crap and admit that you killed Ella Jackson and that you tried to kill Steve McGarrett."

"You got proof or this?" Morley laughed.

"We got everything we need to progress with the case, but we're giving you the opportunity to help yourself." Chin answered.

"Which means you got nothin'… no evidence. That's got to suck." Morley grinned. "You should be charging your cop friend… taking drugs from a search… that's low brah… talk about a desperate junkie."

"Wha'?" Danny frowned as he looked down, he hadn't realized he'd lifted Morley out of the seat and slammed him against the wall until it was done. "What did you say?"

Chin and Kono straightened with discomfort but they knew they had to show Morley a united front, cracks would be manipulated.

Morley gasped for air as Danny held his forearm up against the man's throat but still he smirked.

"Is this funny to you?" Danny asked with disgust. "You think you have something to smile about?"

"I think it's hysterical that you're pissed off with me that your boy OD'ed, and now you're looking for someone to blame." Morley answered. "I also think that in future, when he goes looking to steal his next fix, perhaps he should stick with something a little less hardcore. Vitamin tablets perhaps? Heroin doesn't seem to agree with him so much" He continued, amusement in his inflection.

"You want to know what I think's funny?" Danny asked, pressing harder against Morley's neck. "I think it's funny that you are nothing but a dead man walking, Anton… or is Leon? I'm so confused."

Morley's smile faded.

"Yeah. Got your attention now, don't I?" Danny hissed. "Leon Roth, drug dealer… put his bosses in jail… a suspect in the deaths of three people who apparently overdosed… moved here under protective custody… the only thing that changed was your name."

Morley glared at Danny, his lips thinning bitterly.

"Let me tell you something. There's only two ways this can go for you…" Danny started. "You can either refuse to cooperate, in which case you walk out the door… but you are still a suspect in an investigation so going anywhere will prove to be difficult with HPD and us on your tail. The more people we involve, the more likely your identity will get out… back to the mainland… back to Brooklyn… and I know there are a few people there that would love to give you the gift of a bullet."

Morley struggled against him.

Danny pushed harder against his neck. "And if we find that evidence before they come for you… you would be charged with the murder of Ella Jackson and the attempted murder of a cop. Then I'm going to make it my personal campaign to have you extradited back to Brooklyn, so that they could reopen and reinvestigate the deaths of those three people over there. You'll be placed in a facility with half the people you ratted out… good news is you won't have to worry about those sleepless nights waiting for the trial. How long do you think it will take for them to get to you? What do you think they will do to you, Anton?"

Morley shuffled.

"Or you can give me your confession… tell me what you did to Ella and Steve… and I will make sure that you remain on the island… but spend your days out in solitary so no one can get to you."

Morley paused before coughing with a smile. "I thought he would be tougher than what he was…"

"What did you say?" Danny asked, pushing against the man harder.

"For a SEAL… he didn't put up much of a fight." He pushed. "He was easy to take down."

"You proud of that?"

His smirk broadened. "Your boy gave less of a fight than she did." He paused. "Perhaps you should have left him… maybe he didn't want to be saved…"

Danny's cell phone rang again. He released the pressure in his arm and stood back, producing the cell from his pocket. "Williams…" he said, glaring at Morley threateningly. He sighed. "I'm on my way." He hung up, turning and motioning for Chin and Kono to come over to the door. "I have to go…"

"What's going on?" Chin asked.

"I don't have time to explain. I'll call you… you make sure you get the rest of the story out of him. I want full confessions for both Ella and Steve. If he gives you problems you cut him loose and set the wheels in motion."

"Got it." Kono nodded.

"Nothing changes the fact that he took the drugs… he's done." Morley insisted. "You have to accept that… and understand that your friend is a criminal… just like me."

Danny turned to walk back toward Morley who was still up against the wall. "You don't have any respect for anyone… I get that… but you tried to disgrace and kill someone who is the polar opposite to scum like you. You tried to kill my partner… our friend… but you failed… you failed terribly. So… on behalf of all of us, here at 5-0…" he said as he smirked before punching Morley hard sending him down onto the floor. Danny rubbed his hand and looked down at the man. "You have a great day."

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Danny ran down through the hospital corridors, eventually reaching Steve's door where security and the doctor were waiting. "What happened?"

"I went in there to do the tests we discussed… he lashed out… pushed the nurse over when he tried to get away from us."

Danny raised his hand and rubbed his eyes. "Is she ok?"

"She'll be fine… a little shaken… but Commander McGarrett has blocked the door, he won't let anyone in and he won't talk. I'm sorry Detective. Given his history and his abilities I have had to call for a military psychologist to come in." He nodded. "They're on their way…"

"Steve… its Danny… you need to let me in." He knocked. "Steve… come on… open the door."

There was silence from the other side.

"Listen to me buddy… you need to let me in so we can sort this out and get you out of here."

Still silence.

"Steve..."

There was the sound of movement on the other side.

Danny turned to the doctor and security guards, extending his hand out. "Just give me some time… ok?"

The door opened slightly, but Steve couldn't be seen. Danny stepped through, he couldn't expect anything because with Steve it was always from left field. He pushed the door closed again and stood there, locking eyes onto Steve.

"Hey…" Steve said casually.

Danny's eyes widened, he choked. "Hey" Danny mimicked with anger. "I leave you for a moment, you go all ninja, I have to talk myself back in here and all you can give me is 'hey'?"

Steve looked away, rolling his eyes as if Danny's response was an epic overreaction. "What do you want me to say Danny?"

"How about we start with your issues." He nodded.

"My issues?" Steve replied. "I don't have any issues."

"That's where you are wrong, my friend… because the doctor outside is about three seconds away from calling in Seal Team 6 to deal with you."

Steve straightened.

"If there was ever a time you needed to be open with me, Steve, it's now." He answered. "What's going on with you?"

Steve's eyes drifted down.

"Silence. Now there's a shock." Danny wined. "Ok… let me tell you what I know so you can go ahead and work off that." He pushed. "For some reason you're on edge… you won't let anyone you don't know near you, you got all weird with Joe, so… although this goes against everything I believe in, for the interest of keeping me sane… please… would you tell me what the hell is going on inside your head? Because right now they think you're suffering from some kind of psychotic break and they've called in a Military shrink who is going to assess you." He snapped. "I promise you… none of us want you to go down that road, because it is only ever been a matter of time before you'd get locked away for being a lunatic…"

Steve sighed.

"Talk!" Danny growled.

His expression softened before he turned to head back to the bed and perched himself on the edge, holding his ribs. Danny followed and sat down in the chair, looking up at Steve.

"Someone came into my house, Danny…" Steve whispered.

Danny frowned. "You're worried about Morley? We got him, Steve…"

"It doesn't matter… someone still came into my house."

Danny shrugged with complete confusion.

"It's bad enough that they managed to overpower me, but to be there without me having any clue…" He answered, shaking his head and shrugging with defeat. His eyes drifted down. "I don't know why I feel like this… but I know something has changed… in my mind… something's changed."

Danny's eye floated away, he felt the need to shield Steve from sympathy because he knew that would only exasperate the situation. He would hate that Danny was seeing him filled with self-doubt and his confidence so depleted.

"You always thought that I didn't have fear." Steve paused. "That nothing scared me." He shook his head and shrugged. "But the truth is that having fear and showing fear are two completely different things." He paused. "I had to teach myself that letting fear take over my emotions could cost me my life, could allow me to make mistakes. I had to learn to suppress all emotions, it was part of my job… I was a soldier whose sole purpose was to be placed into situations that had the potential to do me harm or end my life."

Danny listened to Steve carefully.

Steve tightened his jaw for a moment, his eyes misting slightly. "I've grappled with my own mortality more times I can count… but I trusted my instincts and training to get me through. Those instincts and my training have never let me down."

"Until now…" Danny nodded understandingly.

"You probably think it's just my pride that's been dented. But it's not, Danny, it's a lot more than that for me. It's made me question everything I am, what I'm capable of." He shrugged "I feel like I have lost my instincts… and losing them feels like I've lost a massive part of myself." Steve whispered. "I can't trust my judgment, and to protect myself from that I can't just trust everyone around me."

"I have never understood you more than in this moment." Danny shrugged. "So you clearly trust Mary, you must trust me… but Joe?"

"You and Mary have never given me any reason not to."

"But Joe has." Danny nodded.

Steve didn't offer a verbal reply, just thinning his lips.

"So… you're not crazy, and you're not brain damaged. Good to know." Danny said softly. "You're still going to have to talk to the shrink, you know that, right?"

Steve nodded.

Danny grinned. "And you're going to have to convince said shrink you're not crazy or brain damaged. Tough gig."

Steve grinned somberly.

Danny sighed as he patted Steve on the knee. "We'll work this out. We're a team, right?"

"Right." He whispered as his grin faded.

**Authors note: Sorry for the delay in posting a new chapter. Thank you so much again for reading and all the comments. I will hopefully have this wrapped up in one (or maybe 2) more chapter(s). Thanks so much for sticking with this story.**


	10. Chapter 10 - Final Chapter

**Chapter 10**

_The next day…_

Danny stood beside the nurse's station reading through some paperwork when Chin and Kono appeared.

"Howzit." Chin nodded.

"Hey…" Danny looked up and smiled.

"So we've just come from Steve's house… cleaned up the mess HPD left… also the security company sent some guys out to upgrade the system." Chin said.

"Thank you, but it won't make a single bit of difference if the home owner doesn't bother turning it on in the first place." Danny answered sarcastically.

"Well maybe we are seeing the makings of the new and improved Steve McGarrett." Chin nodded.

"Baby steps, Chin… baby steps." Danny replied before rubbing his hands down his face wearily.

"Have you even been home?" Kono asked.

"Not yet…" Danny sighed. "I plan to get there sometime today… just to pick some things up."

"How's Steve doing?" Chin asked.

"Good." Danny nodded. "They're just finishing up his discharge papers."

"That's got to make him happy." Kono replied.

"Yeah, about that… listen." Danny herded them over to a small and empty waiting room. "He's going to need some time to work through a couple of things."

"That's ok… between the three of us we got work covered." Kono nodded.

"Yeah, well, that's just it. He's gonna need some support, so I don't know how much I'm going to be around." Danny pushed his hands into his pockets.

"Danny, it's not a problem." Chin nodded. "Whatever you guys need, we got your backs."

"Of course." Kono nodded. She shuffled nervously. "It's more than losing Catherine, isn't it?"

Danny nodded. "Catherine's death and what happened to him with Morley, it's opened up old wounds… he's taken a beating, mentally and physically… he just needs to pick himself back up again."

"This was inevitable." Chin nodded. "I've had concernes about this happening to him for years. His past was bound to catch up with him. There is only so much you can lock away." He whispered.

"He'll be seeing a Navy physiatrist for a while."

"I didn't think he would agree to something like that?" Kono frowned.

"The shrink is an ex SEAL, so… love at first sight, right?" Danny shrugged and smirked. "The reality is, if he wants to stay in the reserves and keep his job, this is what he needs to do."

"We might drop by and see him tomorrow, if you think he'll be up to it?" Chin nodded.

"I think he would be happy to see you guys." Danny replied patting him on the shoulder.

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Danny led Steve through the door and threw the keys down on the small table nearby. He dropped his bag and looked around. "Clean and tidy… just how you like it."

Steve walked in cautiously, scanning the surroundings.

"You hungry?"

"No…" Steve whispered before closing the door and locking it behind him.

Danny watched him carefully. "What do you wanna do?"

"It's Friday, right?" Steve asked.

"All day…" Danny nodded.

"You're supposed to have Grace for the weekend."

Danny parted his mouth, careful about what he was going to say, and how he would say it, to avoid Steve finding something else to kick himself over. "Yeah, but its ok… Rachel had nothing planned this weekend so…"

"No, Danny…" Steve sighed as he walked to the couch and sat down slowly. "This is crazy… you can't shut everyone out of your life just because of me. Especially not Grace."

"I'm not…"

"You should be spending the weekend with her." Steve nodded.

"And I will, just not this weekend." Danny answered, his tone soft yet serious. "I'm not leaving you on your own."

Steve paused for a moment. "Then have Rachel drop her here. We can get some take out… watch a movie tonight… she loves the beach out back, she can run around out there tomorrow."

Danny opened his mouth to protest.

"Danny… please…" Steve pushed. "This is hard enough on me as it is… the humiliation and the guilt… don't make it even harder knowing I'm the one keeping you and Grace apart." He nodded. "Call Rachel… have Grace come here… it'll be great."

Danny paused and sighed as he gave Steve's proposition some thought. "Alright." He said as he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket.

Steve smiled softly with victory.

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Steve walked slowly down the stairs and glanced around the empty living room. He could hear Danny talking outside to a woman, who he assumed was Rachel dropping Grace off. He sighed as he walked over to the couch and sat down, other than the white noise the house seemed so eerily silent.

The door opened behind him and Danny walked in with a somber expression on his face before turning to allow a guest in.

Steve looked up at him, noting his look before setting eyes on Catherine's mother.

"Christine…" Steve said as he sat forward.

"Hey, Steve…" she smiled softly as she headed over clutching a beautifully decorated tote bag in her hand. "How are you doing?"

"I'm fine… how are you?" he answered gently.

She nodded softly.

Danny hovered by the door uncomfortably. "I'm gonna be outside." He pointed to the door.

Steve nodded back before Danny disappeared. His attention turned back to Christine. "I thought you may have gone home already?"

"We fly out in a couple of hours… going to stay with my son for a little while… he's taken Catherine's death pretty bad." She nodded.

Steve lowered his head.

Christine paused as she sat down next to him. "I'm so sorry that we couldn't delay the funeral. It was just so hard… and nobody knew for sure what was happening with you."

"It's ok… I understand." He whispered.

She smiled softly. "But we changed a few things… one of which was that we decided not to have Catherine buried."

Steve's eyes studied her face, he didn't know how he should be responding to that.

She laughed affectionately. "I don't even know how it was considered in the first place… Catherine was never really still… always moving… having her buried would never have been right."

Steve nodded gently.

"So, obviously, the alternative was to have her cremated…" she said softly, her voice breaking with heartache. "That's why I've come here." She said as she moved the tote bag closer to him. "Catherine's ashes… to do with whatever you think is fitting at a time you choose."

Steve's eyes glistened with tears.

"You were everything to her… she was happier in the last year than I think I'd ever seen her before." She nodded. "It haunted me that you would never get to say your final goodbyes. You deserved too."

"You don't want to take these with you?" he whispered.

Christine smiled but the tears coursed down her cheeks. "Hawaii was her home… it's where she should be set free." She paused. "I said my farewells… now it's the turn of you and the friends you had together."

"Thank you…" he said so softly that it could hardly be heard.

She sighed as she brushed the tears from her face and composed herself. "You take care of yourself, ok?"

Steve nodded. "You too." He replied.

She leant forward and embraced him tightly.

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Steve watched, from the doorway to the kitchen, Danny and Grace sitting on the couch giggling and messing around with popcorn. He thinned his lips into a slight smile. It was almost like watching his Dad and Mary all over again. He envied Danny, he always had, he was a good cop but he shined as a father. Steve wondered if he would ever have the chance to find out how he would be, though he couldn't imagine that ever happening now he'd lost Catherine.

He walked out into the living room and stood beside the TV.

"Uncle Steve, are you going to watch the movie?" Grace asked.

He offered her a warm smile and shook his head. "You know what? I would love too, but I'm really tired, Gracie…"

"You ok?" Danny asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine." He nodded encouragingly. "I'll see you in the morning. Maybe we can go out on the Kayak?" he said to Grace.

"Kayak? In the water? Like in the ocean?" Danny confirmed.

"Where else would you put it, Danny?"

"Yeah!" Grace shouted with excitement before turning to Danny.

"Not a chance monkey." Danny said with certainty. "You can put your toes in the water, that's as far as you go."

"Danno." Grace moaned.

"I'll talk him around, Grace. Don't worry." Steve nodded. "I'll see you in the morning."

Danny smiled softly at Grace before he hopped up and walked over to Steve. "Seriously… you ok?"

"Danny." Steve sighed. "You keep telling me to relax, why don't you try doing it yourself sometime?"

"I just saw you check all the doors and windows like three times…" he whispered.

"So I'm being security conscious. It never hurts to be proactive."

"No it doesn't, and it's about time you took that stance… but…" he shrugged gently. "You do realize that if I didn't think this house was safe Grace would not be here, right?"

Steve glared at him before nodding. "Yeah…" he whispered.

"So, relax." Danny pushed.

He thinned his lips and patted Danny on the shoulder. "Night Danno."

"Night…" he answered as he watched Steve walk up the stairs. He sighed as he slumped back down next to Grace.

"Are you sad?"

"Me? Sad? What have I got to be sad about with you here? We got this bowl of popcorn, a whole heap of soda's… we got a couple of movies and I got a princess with me. How could I be sad?"

"You're worried about Uncle Steve?"

Danny smiled softly, she was wise beyond her years. "A little bit… but you know what would really help?

"What?"

"If you could help me take care of him. You think you can do that?"

"Of course."

He kissed her softly on the head and pulled her close. "Let's watch this movie."

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Steve sat on the floor of his bedroom, his back up against the wall as he struggled to work through all the feelings he had inside of him. He wished so much that Catherine was here to talk to, to bring him down, she was so good at reaching him.

He felt an angst he'd never encountered before, even though such terrible things had happened in his house he'd never once felt unsafe or isolated the way he did now. In a moment of clarity he'd realized that this was not healthy, staying awake in the darkness, fueled on mostly fear and sorrow. He looked down to his gun beside him and sifted back thorough his reasons as to why it came to be there. He'd already worked out his plan if he heard noises in the house, he would react with no mercy. Lay anyone down that dared to come into his home.

He choked with disgust and shock as the rational side of him started to kick in. Grace and Danny were in the house. What if, through a clouded judgment, he had caused either of them any harm inadvertently? He struggled to fill his lungs again with the air he needed, the thought was too much to bear.

Could he ever feel the same as before? Or was this the way it had to be now? This house felt too compromised with both heartache and terror that he was certain it would take too long or possibly never feel the same as it did. He couldn't live this life. He didn't want to live this life. Something had to give.

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Steve sat at his laptop at the study desk as the early morning sunlight filtered through.

"Ok, thank you." He said before ending a call on his cell phone. His attention drawn back to a pending email on the screen. His finger hovered a key that would send the document away, hesitating for just a moment before sighing.

"Hey…" Danny said as he appeared in the doorway. "You want breakfast?"

Steve pushed on the key, finalizing the correspondence before looking up and smiling. "Sure."

"Grace wants pancakes."

"Pancakes are good… but, you know what? Let me cook them."

"You don't like my pancakes?"

"I like my kitchen without burn marks up the walls… we've been here before Danny… remember?"

"One frittata…" Danny protested. "Can I please put in a request to work on with your shrink? You having this unbelievable ability to hold on to things and bring them back up years down the track."

Steve passed him and walked out into the kitchen. "Most people would find it hard to forget someone almost burning their house down."

"Let it go, Steven." He growled.

"I'll do my best." He nodded. "Hey… would you do me a favor?" he asked softly.

"Sure." Danny nodded.

"Sunset… today… Catherine's ashes." He nodded toward the ocean past the yard. "Would you be there?"

"Where else would I be?" Danny answered as if it was a given. "You know you don't have to do this right now though."

"Now's the time…" he nodded. "Christine said something about setting Catherine free… she's right…" he hesitated. "Besides, I'm going back to the mainland for a while." He continued cautiously. "Catch up with some of the guys in my unit so I wanted to do it before I leave."

"That's a good idea. A holiday… time out, sounds good." He nodded. "When?"

"I got a flight for first thing in the morning." Steve continued.

"You don't waste time, huh?" Danny replied. "But a couple of days away will probably help with working things out. You'll be back at work in no time."

"Danny…" Steve sighed and relaxed his shoulders. "The thing is, I haven't booked a flight back yet."

Danny glared at him, he could read between the lines enough to know what that meant. "So are we talking about a permanent thing here?"

"I don't know yet. Maybe." He replied gently. "Probably."

Danny nodded, though he didn't believe for one minute that Steve would end up over there. He'd spend a couple of weeks in a city with no beach, bored out of his mind and come racing back.

"I'm speaking to a realtor about listing this place." He nodded. "If I can get a good price then I'll seriously consider taking it."

Now it sounded too real, blindsided by something he never thought Steve would consider, selling the house. Danny could now feel his stomach churn. "This is crazy." He shook his head with disapproval. "Do you not think you might be taking this a little too quick?"

"I started thinking about it the night Catherine died. It's not been as quick as you might think."

"Steve, I get that your instincts might be telling you to cut your losses and run away right now… but this is one of the stupidest ideas you've ever had. Take some time away, give it a lot more thought, then decide."

Steve sighed as he looked away.

"But do me a favor… if nothing else… do not list this house until you are 110% sure this is what you want." He pushed. "You love this place, once it's done it's done… you can't change your mind."

"I loved this place, even after what happened to dad here. But everything has gone now… nothing feels right any more." He shook his head. "Besides, Mary could use the money, and it would help me out."

"Oh. Ok, so I take it you've spoken to Mary about this, right?" Danny asked angrily.

"Not yet, but I'm sure she'd be happy getting the pay out."

"You do realize this is her childhood home too, Steve. This place means just as much to her as it ever did to you."

"So I'll talk to her." Steve responded and shrugged.

Danny glared at him. "You're seriously going to walk away from everything?"

"Everything?" Steve grinned bitterly.

"Yes, everything. Your job… your life, your friends." Danny growled.

"Ok, first of all… what job? As if the governor is going to let me back in to 5-0 after what I did?"

"Chin and Kono put forward a pretty compelling case in your defense."

"No, they covered it up…" Steve nodded with disapproval. "He's a smart man, Danny. He'll see through it."

"Don't start with the moral high ground talk, Steve. They did what needed to be done because you are the only person who can lead 5-0. You don't think the governor knows that as well? He just needed someone to give him a solution so that will stick if he gets backlash. Chin and Kono offered him that. He'll take it even if he doesn't personally believe it." Danny argued.

"Regardless… I can't do my job until they clear me to be fit…"

"A couple of weeks."

"You don't know that, and it could take months, even years." He protested.

"Steve. You are making a massive mistake." Danny pleaded.

"Maybe, but it's my mistake to make?" He shrugged softly.

Danny glared at him, he didn't know how to reply.

Steve softened his stance. "This is a decision that I am making… for myself. I've spent most of my life being pushed or ordered in to where I go. This is something I get to choose myself."

Danny looked away, he could understand but he still didn't agree. "You know what? I'm not hungry." He shook his head.

"Danny." Steve called softly as Danny walked away.

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Steve sat on one of the white wooden garden chairs by the sand line. The light blue water glistened in the bright Hawaiian sunlight, lighting up beyond the shade of the palms over him. The warm air that skimmed over the water and up the sandy beach gently wrapped around him, softly ruffling his light white shirt, as his eyes skimmed the horizon.

He tried to imagine what life would be like away from here now. If he was honest it was a daunting thought. All those times he'd been away, in desolate places with unfriendly faces, he would force himself to focus on this kind of moment savoring this amazing view. Ironically he'd been back four years now yet he'd only taken the time to truly appreciate it on a handful of occasions. He regretted deeply that he took it all for granted.

This was always his place to come back to, even if he hadn't been here in the years between him being sent away and returning after his father's death. He knew it was here, he knew it was his safety net. A place to come back and regroup when everything else seemed so chaotic. That theme had continued since returning to Hawaii only now it seemed tarnished. Still, could he imagine a life without it? Could he imagine trading the beautiful white sands, crystal clear water, warm days, and Aloha spirit with anything the mainland could offer?

Then there were the people. He'd forged a family together, one he'd concluded on many occasions before he couldn't live without. Was he doing this to prove to himself that he didn't need anyone else? That he could cut off ties and survive? Or perhaps deep down he was trying to prove it to everyone else, since they had now seen him in his weakest state, he felt all dignity had now been lost. Was he trying to restore faith that didn't need to be repaired in anyone else's mind but his own?

Was what had happened as much of an issue for them as it seemed to be him? Would it make any difference in their opinion of him? Would they judge him for being broken? Of course they wouldn't. Experience showed that they would be first to help pick up the pieces, without the hint of condemnation, if he just let them get close. That what he saw as humiliation would be seen by them as normal human responses. He didn't have to be the strong one all the time. He wasn't in the line of work where that was always expected of him anymore, so why couldn't he adapt?

Was he doing this for the right reasons or was this a knee jerk reaction to make some kind of moot point that would ultimately hurt him? He'd lost the one person he'd ever loved truly and now he was going to voluntarily rip his life apart by removing himself from everything else he knew to be true and that he held dear. How was that ever going to benefit him?

He nestled himself back into the chair as his eyes floated down. Perhaps Danny was right, but here came the second challenge, admitting that he may have been wrong.

His cell phone chirped loudly, throwing him from his thoughts. He reached into his pocket, pulling out the phone and looking at the caller. "Yes Governor?" he answered.

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Chin stood in the kitchen, overlooking the beachside yard as Steve and Grace played with a ball on the sand beyond. Danny poured out two cups of coffee and handed one to Chin.

"You two had a fight?" Chin asked.

"Why would you say that?" Danny shrugged defensively.

"Let's just say that years of observation has made me acutely aware when there is something going on between you two." He nodded before sipping the coffee.

"No, I just don't like him right now."

"Years of observation should have made you acutely aware that the more you disagree with something, the more he will do it." Chin added.

"So I'm just supposed to accept this hair brained idea of his to run away?" Danny answered as he shook his head.

"The point is that it doesn't matter what you or I think… it's not our call." Chin replied sympathetically.

"You sound just like him." Danny replied disapprovingly. "He's going to sell this house, move back to the mainland and realize he's made a mistake. Only by then it's going to be too late to come back."

Chin sighed as he glanced back out at the pair in the garden. "Has he said what he's planning to do when he gets there?"

"Nope…" Danny shook his head before pausing, he glanced at Chin, noting his thought filled expression. "What? What are you thinking?"

Chin shrugged. "I don't know, Danny… have you tried actually talking to him?"

"Yes I've tried talking to him. I talk to him all the time. I talk to him until I am blue in the face." He answered.

"Have you tried reaching him on his level?"

"By putting a gun against his head and threaten him?" Danny shrugged with confusion. "No I have not tried that." He shook his head.

Chin sighed as he leant against the counter. "I think you're looking at this wrong. Try thinking about this from Steve's point of view. He's had to show a side to him, in the past few days, he never wanted anyone to see… vulnerability and apprehension. Maybe he just needs to see that it's ok to feel that way and it's not something to feel slighted or ashamed of. The thing is, Danny… when everything went down the other day you were scared of losing him, only he didn't see how much it upset you. Maybe if you explained that, it might give him another view? Might make him realize that what's happened hasn't just affected him. That he's not alone and that you can relate." Chin thinned his lips.

Danny paused as he gave Chins words of wisdom some thought. He sighed. "Ok… what the hell, right?" He shrugged 

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"Hey monkey… why don't you go inside and clean up." Danny said as he walked outside, interrupting Steve and Grace's football game.

Grace threw the ball to Steve with a smile before running back to the house.

Steve walked over to the chairs, wincing as he cradled his ribs gently then grabbing a bottle of water and pouring it back into his mouth.

"You do realize that you are still supposed to be resting, right?" Danny asked.

"I'm just wondering how I ever survived fifteen years of my life without a mother like you?" Steve answered.

"Yeah, about that..."

"Danny…." Steve whined as he closed his eyes in protest, slumping down into one of the chairs.

"Would you just shut up and hear me out already?" Danny snapped, sitting down next to him before a long pause set in between them as he conjured up the words. "I know how much I tell you not to do something… and I also know how much you love to do the complete opposite."

"Yet you still do it."

"Not this time…" Danny shook his head.

Steve could see in his expression that there was an air of discomfort. He nodded, pushing aside any further antagonistic responses.

"Look… I don't know how to begin this… and I don't know what you're going to think about me when we're done, but…" he shrugged softly. "I don't want you to go. And it's nothing to do with me thinking it's the wrong choice for you… to be honest I'm worried it's the right choice… and that you won't come back."

Steve looked into his eyes before looking down at the ground.

"You know I don't play so good with others… you know how long it took me to warm up to you. You're an animal… you take stupid risks, you're trigger happy, you're idea of a good day involves being shot at, you're stubborn, your way is the only way, you're control freak, you're an absolute jerk when it comes to my car, I find myself hating you passionately at times…"

"Wow…" Steve frowned. "I'm sorry… I'm confused… you're worried that I wouldn't come back?"

"Like I said… shut up." Danny held his hand out for a moment before slumping his shoulders. "What I'm trying to say is that you're a pain in the ass… but you're fiercely loyal, you're always there for me and Grace, you always have my back, you're one of the best friends I have ever had and could ever ask for. I don't want to do this job without you, and I don't want to be on this rock without you being here."

Steve's eyes drifted down.

"When you were in the hospital, and they didn't know if you'd make it through… I got this anxiety inside of me, like it was too much to even think about what it would be like without having you on the end of a phone or a drive away. How much life would change." He shook his head. "You might be still on the end of the phone or a plane trip away, but it wouldn't be the same. And I'll be miserable."

Steve thinned his lips sympathetically.

"As a kid growing up, and even after, I was close to my brother. I thought that nothing could come between us. Then I moved here, you don't realize that time and distance separates you emotionally and it changes you. There's nothing you can do about it. You start out with good intentions… say that you'll talk all the time, you'll stay in contact, take trips to see each other… then life gets in the way, and before you know it you're strangers. That's going to happen to us. Except there are no family ties that will one day draw us back together every now and then." He shrugged.

"Are you kidding? If there is one thing that I see very clearly, it's that you and Grace are my family, you've consistently been there for me more than anyone else has in my life. Yeah, distance would change things, it would… but don't think for one minute I wouldn't drop everything and come back here for even the slightest reason."

"Just… just don't go. Ok?" he pleaded. "I want you to stay here and be unhappy with me… but at least we'd be together and unhappy."

"So what are you saying? Are you actually admitting that you like me?"

"I'm saying I love you as a brother but I'm not sure I would go as far in saying I like you." Danny replied.

"But you like having me around?"

"In a crazy, kind of sadistic sort of way, yes." Danny shrugged. "I've gotten used to 'normal' and 'normal' to me now is having someone as unstable as you around."

Steve smirked.

"I know that what I've said probably isn't going to change things, and I know you've got your reasons and you've made your mind up about leaving. But I just wanted you to know where I was coming from, and how much life here is going to suck without you." Danny finished, his tone filled with defeat.

"I appreciate it Danny…" Steve nodded.

"You're welcome." Danny answered dismissively. "I'm going to go check on Grace… it's not long before sunset… so..."

"Yeah…" Steve nodded. He waited for Danny to turn and walk back to the house. "Danny…"

"Yes?" He answered as he turned.

Steve smiled. "So am I allowed to bring this conversation up every time I piss you off in the future?" he asked. "I mean it's going to be a couple of weeks before we're working together again… but just so I know… it's acceptable to remind you how much life would suck if I wasn't here, right?"

"You're staying?" Danny growled.

"I figured you might have been right… I was moving to quick. I just need to give things some time to settle down again."

"Ah…" Danny frowned suspiciously. "And you made this decision when?"

"A couple of hours ago… then the governor called, said he accepted the statement about the undercover op. That I was to be reinstated to 5-0 as soon as soon as I'm cleared."

"So why would not say that? Instead of letting me pour my heart out like I just did?"

Steve's smile broadened. "Because you would never tell me those things under normal circumstances… and now I know where I stand. This is good, Danny… we've reached a whole new level of understanding in our relationship."

"You are a jerk, you know that. I hate you." Danny hissed.

"Good talk, Danny… great talk." Steve called out as Danny stormed back to the house.

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Steve, Danny and Grace walked out into the garden and down to the beach. The soft waves rolled up the white sand offering a gentle, calm and relaxing sound. The sun was a vivid orange, illuminating the low, yet sparse, lying clouds that were scattered on the horizon.

Steve's chest tightened as they looked out over the water. Danny stepped up behind him, gently resting his hand on his friends shoulder, which offered Steve the comfort and strength he needed. Suddenly he felt encouraged, he was hurting but he didn't feel that familiar overwhelming amount of emotion that had ambushed him over and over since she'd gone. He finally felt in control.

He stepped down off the grass and felt the warm grains of sand cushion his feet. The same sand he'd walked so many times over with her hand in his. He stopped again, scoping the ocean, a few private thoughts in his mind.

He was aware of the sound of people behind him, he didn't have to look, he knew if anyone was there it was because Danny had arranged the others to join them, and for that he was grateful. Kono, Chin, Max, Mary and Kamekona stood at a respectful distance in the background, silent as they watched Steve reach the water's edge. Pausing for a moment until he waded into the water to his knees.

Danny gently wrapped his arm around Grace's shoulder, and as she looked up to him with a somber expression he pulled her close to him. Kono stepped over to the pair, brushing her hand down Grace's long hair to add comfort.

Steve removed the lid to the urn with care, hovering it over the water before tipping the contents carefully into the warm ocean. His eyes filled with tears but he still felt no threat from them. As the ashes dispersed, carried away by the gentle current, he straightened. "Goodbye Cath…" he whispered.

The others held back for a few moments before they too waded, knee depth, into the water. Kono rested her hand on Steve's back and handed him one of two Lei's. He looked at her, smiling softly with gratitude as she slipped the garland in the curve of his hand. Chin, Kamekona and Max carefully placed their Lei's onto the surface of the water and stepped back out to the shoreline. Kono, Mary and Grace placed theirs down as Danny waded over to Steve. Kono clutched Grace's hand and guided her back to the waterline leaving the two alone.

"This isn't how I wanted it to end, Danny…" Steve said softly.

Danny shook his head. "No one should have to go through what you and Chin have gone through." He replied sympathetically. "I guess what you have to try and focus on is that nothing can change what's happened, you just have to think about what Cat would want you to do from here on in…"

Steve nodded gently. "Yeah…"

"You said it was time to let her be free… you'll only really do that when you're willing to let her go yourself." He paused. "Let go but not forget."

He thinned his lips into a bitter smile.

Danny shuffled nervously. "Listen… now might not be the best time, given all I put you through last week… but…" he said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the ring Steve had put on Catherine's finger in the ME's office. He pinched it in his fingers and offered it to Steve.

Steve winced slightly with sadness as he looked down at the beautiful ring, pinching it between his own fingers. He nodded and looked at Danny.

"I didn't know what you'd want to do with it now since it couldn't stay with Cat. Christine thought you'd probably want to keep it."

Steve glared at the ring, now in the palm of his hand, before wrapping it into a fist. He let out a shaken breath as the sun slowly sank into the vast ocean, closed his eyes for a moment before filling his lungs with air again. He swallowed the lump in his throat and within a second he threw the band out into the ocean.

Danny was shocked, but he refrained from showing any kind of reaction. He waited for Steve to look at him and bid him an encouraging nod.

"Let go but not forget, right?" Steve whispered.

"Right…" Danny replied tenderly. "Let go but not forget."

Steve rested the lei down in the water, followed by Danny before the pair stood silently for a minute then turned to join the others. As they reached the water's edge the group enveloped Steve warmly. Taking in turns to offer comfort.

Though he knew it would take a lot more to finally set her free from him, he had begun the journey. In death Catherine lived on. She'd taught him so much more about himself, brought him closer to those around him, finally allowed those who knew him best to scratch away at his hard exterior and reach him in ways he never thought he could allow. He was changed, for the better and he knew it, but he wished more than anything that it hadn't been because of such heartbreaking loss.

The group walked back up to the grass and headed for the house. Grace clutched Steve's hand as he turned around and watched for just a moment, the string of flowers dancing innocently in the waves as the remaining slither of the sun slipped out of sight.

**Authors Note: Thank you so much for following this story, for all the wonderful reviews, likes and follows. I hope the ending was ok. I hope to start another fic real soon.** **Thanks again!**


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